I've been married three times and feel sorry for single friends – pin a guy

Now that it has been revealed that the number of couples choosing to get married has fallen below half for the first time, a writer reveals why she still believes in divorce.

I was a little weirdo when I was a kid. Although my parents had a disgustingly happy marriage, I never dreamed of getting married, as little girls should.

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Instead, I dreamed of divorce – it sounded so sophisticated.

Somehow I managed to get hitched three times.

Considering I'm such a terrible person, I don't think a heart-shaped hat trick is that bad.

The most married serial-monogamous man in the world was an American named Glynn Wolfe, who was married a whopping 31 times. The last woman was the most married woman in the world, Linda Taylor, with 23 husbands under her belt.

It's a shame he's not here today because we could use someone to push up the marriage average.

New figures for 2021 show that the number of people in a marriage or registered partnership has fallen to a historic low of 49.7 percent.

This fell further to 49.4 percent in 2022. Ten years earlier, in 2012, this was still 51.2 percent, according to figures. the office for National Statistics.

The Marriage Foundation predictably felt that this unwillingness to abandon everyone else is a bad thing, with their spokesman Harry Benson saying: “The trend away from marriage is bad. news for children.

“Nearly half of teenagers do not live with both natural parents, largely due to divorce from parents who never married.

“Marriage may not be a panacea, but it increases the odds in favor of stable families.”

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But I don't believe that unhappy marriages are better for children than being raised by a happily single parent or happily divorced parents.

Marriage is not a guarantee of keeping vows and keeping a family intact.

I was a bad mother, and the bonds of marriage certainly did not make me less wanton.

Illegal relationship

During my first marriage, the idea that I was committing “adultery” (what a dirty word) made me feel more enchanted by the illicit relationship with the man who became my second husband than I probably would have been if I had just been. went up with my guy.

Women are far more likely than men to be forced into marriage, and to suffer violence among them – so anything that makes it easier to divorce is, to me, a mark of a civilized society.

Despite so many men killing their wives and the hundreds of “Take my wife…. . .” jokes, it turns out that marriage is better for men than for women.

Married men score higher on happiness than single men, while the reverse is true for women.

Perhaps this is why nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women and why more than 50 percent of divorced women never want to remarry, compared to 30 percent of men.

A somewhat shocking 2016 study found that while widowed men die much earlier than married men of the same age, widowed women are likely to live longer than their married sisters.

That said, I've still always wanted to get married and – this sounds awful – it's because I saw it as a showdown of sorts all three times I did it.

My first husband was extremely ambitious, my second was a Lothario, my third was my girlfriend's brother.

They were all – in different ways – not the easiest men to marry, which presented them with challenges.

Likewise, my reputation as a bit of a wild card probably made me an attractive marriage prospect for them.

We're all writers, and writers fear boredom more than most people, because what would we write about if life was all sunshine and lollipops?

I also wanted to be split, because I believe that the word – I shudder as I type it – 'partner' (unless used by someone in a law firm) is the most unsexist sexual status known to man or animal.

As a feminist I probably shouldn't say this, but when I see a couple who has been together for more than a few years and isn't married, and she's always talking about her 'partner' and how they do it I don't have a “piece paper” is necessary, but instinctively I think the woman wants to get married more than the man.

And then I think (bitchily): “It's not marriage he's against – it's marrying you he's against. He's just waiting to see if he can find someone better than you.

First I got married as a teenager and it lasted five years. Then I got married in my mid-twenties, which took ten years.

Now I'm 64 and I've been with my third husband for almost 30 years.

To some extent, this third time lucky longevity may be due to the fact that we naturally become slower as we age.

I also believe that “The One” rarely exists, even though the vast majority of rom-coms are based on this fiction.

I believe 'The Queue' is a much more realistic way of looking at our romantic lives; as the late Peter Ustinov said about friends: “It's not necessarily the people you like the most – it's just the people who get there first.”

I would be sad if my husband and I split up. But do I think we would all be alone forever, howling in the wilderness, because we had lost The One? Of course not.

If you believe that someone has so many good qualities that you love him or her, you surely believe that he or she will easily find many other people who see the same in him/her. (And as for yourself, this goes without saying.)

Most of us struggle with the people we find attractive until we find one we prefer – or until no one else wants us anymore.

We all lose our charms eventually, so if you don't want to be single, make sure you've secured a decent one in the fall of your days, otherwise you run the risk of leaving the closet empty.

I've been married since I was a teenager and I've never – not once – envied a friend for being single.

Good news is only half as good until I tell it to my husband, and bad news is made immeasurably lighter the moment I share it with him.

For better or for worse, I could never imagine this being true for someone I wasn't married to.

• MAKING MARILYN, a play by Julie Burchill and Daniel Raven, debuts at Brighton Pier in May.

Divorce can be great too

By Ulrika Jonsson

I am a married lady once, twice, thrice. So when it comes to marriage, you could say I'm a bit in the game.

And while, my marriages [to cameraman John Turnbull, Army officer Lance Gerrard-Wright then advertising exec Brian Monet] Were largely pleasant experiences, I am now free of the whole shenanigans.

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I got married for the first time at age 23, after meeting my then husband at 21.

I came from a broken home.

I felt displaced.

I didn't think I was good enough for anything or anyone – so when a decent, salty man pops the question, you jump at the chance because you think someone finally likes you.

You think a wedding, a piece of paper and a ring will seal the deal forever.

But that's not true.

That didn't happen with my second or third marriage either.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with getting married – but it's not for me.

I will not marry again.

I can't imagine living with someone again.

I respect the will of the dwindling number of couples who think popping the question is the ultimate commitment. But it isn't.

Devotion comes in more than one shape and size.

Couples are quite capable of committing themselves to each other without the involvement of the state or the church or the need to apply to the court to be 'detached' from a spouse.

And marriage does not guarantee happier children.

There are many children who are just as trapped in unhappy marriages as their parents – so never entertain that idea.

In fact, many parents outside of marriage are better at co-parenting.

I have concrete proof of that three times.

So while I'm not here to dissuade anyone from marriage, I am here to say that divorce can also be a wonderful and wonderful thing.