My 10 year old son heard me say I hated him in a moment of anger after I caught him misbehaving – I feel like the worst mother in the world

A woman has expressed her regret after telling her 10-year-old son she ‘hated’ him because she caught him being ‘terrible to his younger brother’.

The mother-of-two took to the British parenting blog Mothernet to explain how guilty she felt for blurting out the harsh words and even calling herself the “worst mother in the world.”

She talked about how her emotions ran high that night over the sudden loss of her mother, causing her to say out loud to her husband, “I hate that child sometimes” – which her son heard.

She said she immediately apologized to her son and that the ordeal has affected her so deeply that she can no longer sleep.

But since then, an outpouring of support has poured in for the mother, with many expressing their condolences for her late mother. Meanwhile, others debated whether the pre-teen learned a valuable lesson by being naughty.

On the forum she wrote: ‘I can’t sleep. Tonight my 10 year old son really misbehaved and was horrible to his younger brother.

‘My mother has also just passed away, so emotions are running high. I went into the kitchen and said to my husband, ‘Hang out with him. I hate that kid sometimes.”

She then revealed that, unbeknownst to her, the young boy had walked right behind her and unfortunately heard everything she said.

She was then consumed by an overwhelming sense of regret, as evidenced in her post. She continued, “I feel terrible. Obviously it wasn’t that I hated him.

‘I hated the way he was acting at that moment. I immediately apologized. I told him it was unacceptable for me to talk about him like that.

‘I said I didn’t mean it and that it was said out of frustration. I said I was angry at his behavior, but I loved him and always would.

“I know I’m the worst mother in the world and expect to be told as much.”

She concluded by asking the forum for advice on how best to rectify this, and for advice on what to do next.

One person, probably a parent, saw nothing wrong: “Oh honey, you handled it all right.” I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. Your son will be fine. Take care of yourself’.

Referring to the fact that the outburst was her son’s fault, another person said: ‘Maybe now he’ll think twice before being horrible to his little brother.’

While one mother approved of the one-off violation, she also warned the user to “never” do it again. She wrote: ‘Don’t apologize too much. He’ll get suspicious! Make sure he knows what exactly you’re apologizing for. Make sure he knows that you don’t hate him, that you love him more than anything, but also make him understand that his behavior has consequences.

‘This is different from him being responsible for your feelings! He is not. But he’s not too young to know that pushing people can have consequences (as he learned tonight) and that he needs to learn to be aware of people other than himself. He is ten, it will take time, but we all influence the people around us.

She concluded, “Don’t ever say it again. This was your only pass. You didn’t mean it, don’t say things you don’t mean. He doesn’t deserve this uncertainty. Our condolences on the loss of your dear mother.

Another person agreed that it wasn’t best to apologize too much, writing: ‘I’m really sorry to hear about your mother.

‘I would have said, ‘I don’t hate you, I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry. I’m very frustrated with you, I’m tired of your nasty behavior towards your brother. You’re 10, old enough to know better! I expect better from you!”

“Don’t continue to apologize or you’re essentially giving him permission to act like a little idiot.”

Another said: ‘I would tell him you love him but sometimes you hate his behaviour.’

Elsewhere, someone praised her parenting skills: “You sound like a great parent. My mother would never have apologized to me for something like that, or taken the time to try to rectify the situation. I’m really sorry to hear about your mother.’

Meanwhile, someone else advised: ‘Don’t you teach your children to use the word ‘hate’? Maybe you can apply that to the entire household. You will now have to deal with him thinking you prefer the younger sibling.”