My fiancé discovered my old Tumblr account that revealed a sexual nod I had left in the past. Now he says he can’t even look at me anymore: Saucy Secrets

Dear Jana,

My brother just dropped a bomb on our family last weekend. He and his wife sit alone.

Well, she is officially finished, but he regularly appears in her videos. He also revealed that she is being paid – and he wasn’t. Apparently it is her ‘company’ and he is just there to ‘support her’.

The whole family is in shock. Not only because we are worried about his stable job in finance (he shows his face in these videos – together with everything else), but because he does not earn a cent from them.

He says he does it because women cannot only earn ‘real money’ on fans only unless they do boys-girl scenes. He clearly does not want her to perform with other men, so he became her scene partner.

What are the reasons to do it, it just feels exploiting for me. She has no professional reputation to worry about (she has never had a career) while he does that. And the fact that he is not paid while she gets cash is not with me.

How can we let him stop?

Worried sister.

Dear worried sister,

Look, I understand that he is trying to support. It is 2025 and we love a progressive king.

But in this case your concern is valid. If your sister -in -law makes the couch, he should also get a piece of the cake. There is a thin line between being a good husband and are taken for a ride. Literally, in this case.

This whole ‘It’s Her Business’ line does not fly completely if he does half of the heavy work (again, literally). Take this scenario, example: if she was a builder and he went to the construction site every day to hold the ladder, we would All ask a) Why he is there and b) why he is not on the payroll.

So here it is difficult: let him stop. You are not going to come anywhere by wagging your finger and nagging it. But you can rely on logic.

Start with the money. Ask him why he risks his financial career – you know, his livelihood – for something that does not deserve him a cent.

Is it comfortable to be in a dynamic where he gives, but doesn’t get it back? Where is his body used, but not appreciated? Yes, stir the pot, I say. Plant that seed of doubt in his brain and let it do his thing.

Because I find men, change usually does not happen at night. But with the right push and a few continued memories it can happen. Be patient. Maybe you should play the long game with this.

Dear Jana,

I am engaged to a man who is practically perfect. He has a great job, great chatter and a great jaw line. But there is one problem: his penis is small.

Now he is doing well with effort, but I just don’t feel sexually satisfied. I am rarely an orgasm and when I do that, it’s all my trouble.

And here the story becomes a bit complicated.

In my twenties I had a real nod for hung guys. I’m talking about Foxtel remotely. I even had a tumblr blog (do you remember?) ‘Size Queens’ that I had destroyed stupidly with the use of my real name and forgot to remove.

My fiancé recently found it after I googled and it definitely crushed his trust.

I told him it was an old nod that I left in the past, but he can’t get over it. And if I am completely honest, I now start thinking that I might not be out of my system either.

My fiancé and I are fighting more and more, and some of me think that this is the way of the universe to tell me that I should not marry him.

Maybe I am intended for someone who is a little bigger?

Big questions.

Dear big questions,

I’m not going to give it sugar savings: this is bad.

I remember that a guy once told me that I had a hooked area, and $ 10,000 plus six months annoying Invisalign later, I am now hook -free, but my anger at his confession is still simulating under the surface, waiting to burst if we ever cross paths again. (You are warned, size.)

So my point is this: even if it is unintended, it makes it indicate a physical ‘mistakes’ a person with a core memory that sticks. Forever. So no, I don’t feel super positive about your relationship now.

But I have to ask … what’s with the obsession with big Wiersers? And yes, I said obsession. By devoting your time and energy to a whole Tumblr page full of them, such as a sort of sanctuary, wonder why you would like something on earth that huge between your legs. I mean, a Foxtel remote control is not for Bangeriken.

And look, I am not here to nod shame … But have you ever tried to sleep with such a big one? I have. Well, I tried.

The breathing exercises, a frightening amount of lubricant and a lot of regret. Towards the end I was not only physically painful, I felt orgasmic unfulfilled. See, with a smaller diagonally just right (pro -tip: side on, knee opposite the ceiling), you can actually enjoy. But with a big one? You are too busy to try not to tear an ovary to feel something from a distance sexy. And don’t even let me start with the Lockjaw situation.

So let me offer this wisdom: the grass is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes it’s just overwater and full of bulls ***.

Maybe the universe is not trying to tell you to dump your fiancé for a colossal beast with a huge C ***. Maybe it is trying to tell you You establish too early. Maybe you should explore a little more before you use your commitment – not necessarily with men who swing huge Willies, but only men in general.

Marriage is a big problem. If you don’t think you can commit yourself in the engagement phase, then those feelings will not disappear magically if you ‘I do’.

If you really feel insecure … well, maybe it’s time to do what Ross and Rachel did, you go a bit on a ‘break’ and live a bit.

Dear Jana,

I have been in contact with my personal trainer in recent months. What started as a harmless flirting turned into a number of very practical ‘stretching’ and now our sessions are actually just sex.

No training sessions, no weights, just a quick shag on the massage table and I am on the way.

But … he still invoices me. Full price.

No actual training, but the payment requests continue to come through as a timepiece.

In the beginning I didn’t think much about it. It felt like a brutal small arrangement. But lately it starts to feel a bit transactional … as if I pay to sleep with him.

Will I be used? It feels like I hire an escort, not a personal trainer.

Invoice confirmed.

Best invoice confirmed,

Girl, you pay for a whore. There are no IFS or just about it. You. Are. Pay. For. Someone. Nasty. To have. Sex. Of. You. I said it there.

He knows. You know. So maybe … just stop? Every woman knows that only one drink and a smidge of flirting in the pub is needed to land a guy for free. So why do you shoot hard money for someone who doesn’t even fire your triceps?

If you start to feel, it is because you are. Think logically about it: no glute bridges, no burpees, no reformer, no real training … well … he is not your personal trainer, right?

He is just a very expensive, emotional not -available shag with an ABN. It kills me that you are not only stuck in this icky arrangement, but you also pay the bill!

No orgasm is worth that kind of invoice.

Unless you really enjoy paying top dollar to be someone’s loot, I would like to strongly suggest cancel that booking and find someone who first buys a wine for you.