SAUCY SECRETS: My partner butt-dialled me during a bucks party and I heard something unforgivable… what should I do?

Dear Jana,

My partner went to a bucks party last weekend and accidentally called me while he was organizing escorts to come to the house he and his friends had rented for the weekend.

I haven’t talked to him about it yet, but I’m devastated. Do you think it’s cheating if he sleeps with an escort? How do I bring it up?

Dear Alice,

If you had asked me this question a few months ago, I would have been shocked. Shocked I tell you! But I recently asked my strong male following to tell me what happens at money parties during one of my Instagram Saucy Secrets confessionals on Monday night, and to say my jaw hit the floor would be an understatement.

Sure, I think we’re all aware of the beers, the strippers, and the ridiculous hazing rituals that men participate in during these debauched events. But what I wasn’t prepared for was the deep sexual undercurrent. The infidelity, the experimenting, the escorts, the pack mentality.

Bucks parties are not for the faint of heart, and unfortunately, escorts can play a role in that too. But do I think it’s cheating? Technically yes. Emotional, no. Now listen to me… When men get together, they encourage each other. While us women love to take ‘life drawing’ lessons on our chickens and giggle as we paint penises, many men tend to take it to a whole new level.

Jana Hocking shares her best Saucy Secrets and her signature sassy advice

They find it ‘just a bit of fun’ to dip their pen into someone else’s inkwell. It’s not a deep connection, it’s just an exchange of services. And while this may seem gross, it’s also not unusual: a recent survey found that one in five men has used escort services.

It sucks that you heard what they were up to, it really does. But you want to approach this in a calm way. Nothing is solved in a shouting match. He will want to deny it at first, so don’t expect all the answers right away.

Just tell him how that made you feel and let him go away and process two things: first, that you know; and second, the impact it has had on you.

If he really cares about you, he will repent. If he reacts angrily, it’s clear he’s a buffoon and it’s time to say te-ta-loo.

Gentlemen. Can’t you just get turned on when a pair of tits jiggles in your face? Why do you have to be so EXTRA?

Dear Jana,

I consider myself straight. I’ve dated men all my life and enjoyed their company and the gender.

But I recently discovered sexual feelings for a new girlfriend. She is feminine, very attractive and the way she interacts with me seems flirtatious.

After we hang out, I can’t stop thinking about her. Can sexuality change later in life?

Dear Coco,

Umm…if you haven’t been in love with at least one same-sex friend, have you lived? I remember mine clearly. It was in high school and she was the first in our group to grow breasts. I don’t know if it was the FOMO of not having my own set of ta-tas yet or just the fascination, but all I know is that I wanted to touch them.

I too went through the existential ‘what does this mean?’ moment, but then I passed a man named Ben, with big brown eyes and broad shoulders, and off I went happily down that path.

I don’t think this means you’re going to change sexuality at all; I think it just surprised you. As I’ve said time and time again, sexuality is on a spectrum.

Jana gives advice on what to do if your partner has used an escort

There are those who sit firmly on one side, known as ‘totally straight’ and those on the other side who are ‘totally gay’, and then that glorious space in the middle where people sit all over the place.

They can be 80 percent straight and 20 percent gay. Or 50/50 or 30/70. Some occasionally shift a little to the left, others a little to the right.

Nothing in life is absolute, so why do we put sexuality into such strictly labeled boxes? We humans are known for our shape-shifting ways.

That’s why sayings like “gay at the gate” exist when people go to prison. Because we are sexual beings, and even when we are cooped up and away from our usual ‘type’, we can still form crushes. No matter how short.

Just ask anyone who went to boarding school. In fact, even Benedict Cumberbatch hinted at experimenting while he was there and he is now a happily married man.

And then there are those famous words from our queen Samantha in Sex and the City who said: ‘I am trisexual. I’ll try anything once.”

So why not mess around? This is the only way we find out what we like. There is no need for an existential crisis. Just a good dose of exploration. Maybe it’s not the genitals that determine our preferences, but the person. I know. Groundbreaking.

Dear Jana,

My boyfriend has permanent bad breath. How can I bring it up to him without hurting his feelings? It really gives me the creeps.

Jana Hocking (above)

Okay, Sophia, I’ve been in this situation before, so let me tell you what worked for me.

I subtly brought up the fact that I was going to the dentist that week for a long-awaited appointment. Then, oh so casually, I said to my friend, “When was the last time you went?”

If they tell you something crazy, like, “Oh, years ago!” You can feign concern and say, “Okay! I’ll book you this week’.

If they fight it, tell them an outrageous story about someone who put off a dental checkup and then had to have all his teeth removed. Scare them into the damn dentist’s chair for a good cleaning.

And I’m telling you, nothing makes you embrace flossing more than the disapproving grunt of a dentist looking deep into your mouth.

Breath sorted. Also make sure you always have a pack of mints with you. The old “Would you like a piece of gum?” is good for quick emergency solutions.’