6 self-help books that therapists read themselves
Which of the thousands of self-help books on the market are actually helpful? “It's unusual to find a self-help book that feels different,” says Vienna Pharaon, a marriage and family therapist in New York City.
But really useful titles abound. The best of the genre invite reflection or provide practical tools to promote emotional, psychological or spiritual well-being. And there are some that therapists turn to personally or introduce to their patients.
“Almost every therapist I know has a whole list of self-help books I can recommend,” says Daniel Tomasulo, a counseling psychologist and academic director of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Teachers College, Columbia University.
Who better to help than mental health professionals sort through the self-help piles? We asked seven to share their choices.
How do we experience joy when faced with personal and collective suffering? The Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu spent five days reflecting on their own lives to answer that question, and they've collected their stories and guidance in this 2016 book.
“The Book of Joy” is an opportunity to learn from two spiritual leaders in an intimate, accessible way, says Sona Dimidjian, director of the Renée Crown Wellness Institute at the University of Colorado Boulder.
Through their dialogue, which is punctuated by laughter and tears, the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu teach readers how to cultivate joy and cope with difficulties such as illness and despair. Dr. Dimidjian recommends the book to “anyone who feels overwhelmed by the reality of our world and everyday life today,” she said.
First published in 2007, this book teaches you to accept your negative thoughts and feelings as they arise, rather than resisting them or being consumed by them – a refreshing approach known as acceptance and commitment therapy .
Diana Garcia, a South Florida-based therapist, says this easy-to-read introduction made her “fall in love” with ACT for the first time. She has clients use the book to supplement their sessions and recommends it to friends who feel stuck. It teaches you how to continue taking actions that move you in a positive direction, no matter how you feel, she explained.
Gregory Boyle is a Jesuit priest who founded Homeboy Industries, a rehabilitation and re-entry program for former gang members. His 2011 book is a collection of real, raw stories about the people he worked with and the lessons we can all learn from their experiences.
“Each chapter reads like a Sunday sermon to enjoy and meditate on,” says Jacob Ham, director of the Center for Child Trauma and Resilience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai. Although faith is woven throughout the book, Dr. Ham recommends the title to anyone who feels “that their traumas and all the ways they have dealt with them have left them broken and irreparable.”
This 1992 workbook from Julia Cameron, a teacher and author, is a twelve-week guide to restoring your sense of childlike creativity. And it's not just for artists and writers, says Britt Frank, a trauma specialist in Kansas.
“Of all the books I've ever used with clients, this one has the most lasting power,” she said. “Because everyone is creative, and creativity is medicine.”
For years, Ms. Frank has returned to the tools of the book, such as the “morning pages,” a journaling practice that streamlines consciousness. And she uses “The Artist's Way” to treat clients with problems such as depression and addiction. But skimmers take note, Ms. Frank warned: “It's not a book you read. It is a book that you work on.”
Thema Bryant is a trauma therapist, ordained minister and professor who offers a “discerning lens on health, hope and healing from trauma,” says Ayanna Abrams, a psychologist in Atlanta.
Drawing from her clinical work, spirituality, and personal recovery from trauma, Dr. Bryant stories, reflections and exercises in this title for 2022. She helps people believe in their ability to heal, explained Dr. Abrams out. Dr. Bryant also avoids the “gimmicky, circumventing or vague” language that so many self-help books rely on, she added.
This 2019 guide helps people recognize, honor and nurture their brightest qualities, said Dr. Tomasulo. The idea of cultivating your “character strengths” comes from positive psychology, which focuses on promoting well-being, he explained. “It's about moving from focusing on 'what's wrong' to 'what's strong.'”
People who rely on their character strengths are generally happier, said Dr. Tomasulo. This book, he explained, is a good choice for “people who are doing well but want more joy and well-being in their lives.”
Carolyn Todd is a freelance health journalist covering wellness, mental wellbeing and diabetes.