How to Reset Your Relationship with Technology (For Real This Time)

But that’s not what most people experience. In reality, Burkeman says, whatever you’re working on triggers an unpleasant emotion in you: perhaps boredom, or fear that you won’t be able to complete the task, or worry that you won’t have enough time. You take refuge in your phone to escape those uncomfortable feelings.

Once there, it’s designed to hold your attention and soak up your day. But what we need to keep in mind, he said, is “the idea that distraction starts within us, and is not simply a case of evil Silicon Valley companies stealing our focus.” That way we are in charge. When the uncomfortable emotions arise, we can recognize them and be better equipped to resist them.

Change your address.

What I miss most about my week without technology is the feeling I had that real life was all there was. There was no parallel universe online where I had tasks and chores and a personality to maintain. I only had to exist in one realm. Burkeman suggests that instead of trying to eradicate social media, we should work to transform “our default setting” into real life. “Remind yourself that your real life is here in your physical environment, where you talk to people and do things,” he said, adding: “Make social media somewhere you go rather than where you live. ”

To reinforce the concept, put distance between yourself and the dings and pings: keep your phone at least 10 feet away from your workstation during the day, away from your bedside table at night, and always turn off alerts and push notifications, Dr. advised. Aditi Nerurkar, internal medicine physician at Harvard Medical School and author of The 5 Resets, a new book on stress and resilience.

Go analog.

Celeste Headlee, a journalist and author of the book ‘Do Nothing’, recently invested in a cuckoo clock. “Apps are designed to steal our attention by encouraging us to lose track of the minutes passing by,” she says. The hourly cuckooing of her clock causes her to look up and realize how long she has been lost in her devices. Likewise, when she needs to concentrate, she turns over a 30 or 60 minute hourglass. When she’s tempted to reach for her phone, the glass serves as a reminder that only a few minutes have passed since she started a task.