Why Lilibet was so important to The Queen: As Meghan and Harry’s daughter turns three, NATASHA LIVINGSTONE explains how the happy day could trigger memories tinged with sadness for the Royals

Today in sunny California, a very special little girl is celebrating her third birthday.

Lilibet is a British princess, but one who lives thousands of miles away from her royal relatives due to years of family conflict.

No doubt all problems will be put aside today as her parents, Prince Harry and Meghan, shower her with affection with their £11.4 million. [$14.5million] mansion in Montecito.

But there’s one thing about the adorable youngster that will likely continue to raise claims and counterclaims for years to come, albeit through no fault of her own: her name.

For Lilibet, the childhood name by which the late Queen was known to those closest to her was an unusual and deeply personal choice.

Lilibet is a British princess, but one who lives thousands of miles away from her royal relatives due to years of family conflict

According to Robert Hardman’s recent biography of Charles III, the late queen had rarely been as angry as when Harry and Meghan claimed they had her approval when naming their daughter.

The Mail’s royal editor Rebecca English previously reported that the Queen was so upset by the Sussexes’ decision that she told aides: “I don’t own the palaces, I don’t own the paintings, the only thing I own is my name. And now they’ve taken that with them.

Undoubtedly it was not the response Harry and Meghan intended.

But after her duties as monarch, family was the most important thing to Queen Elizabeth.

And this was symbolized by her childhood nickname, Lilibet – a precious reminder of her happiest times.

According to Robert Hardman’s recent biography of Charles III, the late queen had rarely been as angry as when Harry and Meghan tried to claim they had her approval when naming their daughter.

Used only by the closest of friends and immediate family, it was a diminutive that took the Queen back to her earliest days growing up at 145 Piccadilly.

This was a time before draughty Buckingham Palace, when her father was just the shy Duke of York and when, together with her mother and sister Margaret Rose, they were a happy family looking forward to the future.

It was just “the four of us,” as her father, George VI, would later call them.

Writing to his daughter after her marriage to Philip, he told young Lilibet to “remember that your old house is still yours… come back to it as much and as often as possible.”

He continued: ‘Our family, the four of us, the “Royal Family”, must stay together – with additions of course at appropriate times!!’

By then, the abdication of her uncle, Edward VIII, had changed everything, forcing her father to step into the monarch’s shoes at great personal cost.

Things changed again with the war, which created a new world in which public displays of duty by the royal family took on monumental significance. The king wore a uniform from start to finish.

And the situation changed irrevocably when her father died on February 6, 1952, aged just 56, a death perhaps hastened by the pressures and responsibilities of unexpected kingship.

The late queen routinely extended her Christmas visits to Sandringham to this date, an act of remembrance that said much about Elizabeth’s love for her father – and the grief of his loss.

It may also have been a holdover for her from her days as the laughing little princess who tricked the irascible grandfather, King George V, into playing horses on the ground, allowing her to pull his beard.

Prince Harry wrote in his memoirs that he had his own special relationship with the Queen, which he likely wanted to honor through his daughter.

There will be none of that tension today as Lilibet reaches a new milestone with her five-year-old brother Prince Archie and her parents.

But in doing so, the name has been transformed from a symbol of family unity to one scarred by transatlantic anger.

Today, there will be no more of that tension as Lilibet reaches another milestone with her five-year-old brother Prince Archie and her parents.

However, there is no indication that Lilibet will meet anyone from her father’s family anytime soon.

King Charles had had just one “very emotional” meeting with his youngest grandchild – during the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee in June 2022.

But Lilibet is not thought to have met her aunt and uncle Prince William and the Princess of Wales, or their children Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis – her cousins.

And there’s absolutely no sign that the deep rift between Harry and his brother William will heal to the point where a family reunion will take place anytime soon.