I proposed to my partner on Leap Day – he was my rock through breast cancer and I wanted to make the proposal all about him

Entertainment

Once every four years it becomes the norm for women to subvert tradition and ask for their boyfriend’s hand in marriage.

And thanks to the fifth century Irish tradition, Laura Ayers, 39, from Suffolk seized the opportunity and popped the question to Jordan Ayers, 34, on Leap Day 2020.

The pair met in 2014, and having both been married before with children, tying the knot again wasn’t a priority for either of them.

That all changed one year into the relationship when Laura, then 31, was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a double mastectomy. Jordan remained by her side throughout, caring for her every need.

From then onwards, Laura knew she had found the one, and to prove it, she got down on one knee on Leap Day 2020, and Jordan said yes.

Laura Ayers, right, 39, popped the question to her boyfriend Jordan, 34, left, on Leap Day 2020. The pair are photographed at the scene of the proposal at Urban Jungle after Jordan said yes

The pair met in 2014 after both coming out of serious relationships. Laura was recently divorced with three children, as was Jordan with a daughter.

‘Due to these factors we took things quite slowly to begin with,’ Laura said. ‘To be honest, at that stage, I never really thought about ever getting married again.’

But that belief started to unravel in the summer of 2015 when Laura was diagnosed with breast cancer after Jordan detected a lump.

Laura said: ‘My world came to a complete standstill, but Jordan was by my side every step of the way.

‘Following lots of attempted surgeries to remove the lump the decision was made that I needed to undergo a full double mastectomy with immediate reconstruction.

‘Jordan was my carer for the weeks post operation and remained my complete rock.’

Six months later, the pair received another surprise when Laura discovered she was pregnant.

Laura and Jordan got married at a local church in Suffolk, a day they will always treasure. The pair are pictured on their wedding day with family

Laura, who was diagnosed with breast cancer, planned the wedding before she started chemotherapy

The pair are pictured at the scene of Laura’s proposal. Jordan didn’t hesitate to say yes, and the pair haven’t looked back

‘It came as a complete surprise to us that I was in fact pregnant with our first child together

‘Charlie safely arrived just over a year after this major surgery,’ Laura explained.

With its highs and lows, the year brought the couple closer together than ever, and Jordan’s unwavering commitment throughout Laura’s health battle proved he was the one.

Laura explained: ‘In 2020, I took a leap of faith to ask Jordan to marry me, making the most of the leap year.

‘After everything we had been through, he remained by my side and I felt I had found my soul mate and best friend.’

Laura, then 32, knew she wanted to propose, but worried about the responsibility that came with planning the major life event.

The couple met in 2014 after being with different long term partners. Laura and Jordan are pictured during the early days of their relationship

The pair share their son Charlie (pictured) as well as daughters (pictured) from previous marriages. All together, they are a family of seven

Luckily, Laura stumbled across a local garden centre that was offering the chance to plan a Leap Day proposal for one lucky winner.

Entrants had to write to the garden centre explaining their relationship story to be in with a chance.

What’s the history of the Leap Day proposal tradition?

The Leap Day proposal tradition has its origins in 5th Century Ireland, when St Brigid negotiated with Saint Patrick, the nation’s patron saint, to allow women to propose ot men.

He agreed with her complaint that they had to wait to long and offered the chance for women to propose one day every seven years. Brigid, however, managed to bargain him down to one in every four years.

In England, women were once legally barred from proposing, but because February 29th didn’t count as a ‘real’ day on the calendar as such, it became possible for women to pop the question.

Over the centuries, the tradition has evolved into Bachelor’s Day and Ladies’ Privilege, which caught on in England and Scotland before crossing the Atlantic to the United States – where it inspired Sadie Hawkins dances in American high schools.

‘I sent a write up piece in and it was selected,’ Laura said.

The results confirmed the plan of action, Laura was to pop the question to her man.

‘I couldn’t quite believe I was going to propose,’ she said.

She settled the rings first, thanks to the help of Jordan’s parents.

‘I had been to Norwich a few weeks before to pick my ring and Jordan’s mother gave me his grandad’s signet ring to propose with, which made it extra special,’ Laura said.

To execute the proposal without Jordan suspecting, she told him that they were heading out for a meal and family members had kindly offered to care for the children.

‘It took some planning, bearing in mind we are a family of seven and keeping anything secret was tricky,’ she said.

‘We had decorated the polytunnel the day before with photographs of us together with our family, and made it look beautiful.

‘The café organised a special afternoon tea along with champagne all beautifully set out.

Laura continued: ”We met my husband’s cousin at the cafe car park to hand over Charlie [their son] because he was staying with her for the evening.

‘Little did Jordan know she had already been into the hotel room I had booked with champagne, roses and little touches for after the proposal.’

The plan was in full swing, but Laura was overcome with nerves. ‘At this stage my stomach felt like it was in my mouth,’ she said.

Laura knew that Jordan was the one after he cared for her throughout her battle with breast cancer

Laura proposed to Jordan at a garden centre after winning a Leap Day wedding proposal competition

Laura continued: ‘Getting to this point had taken such work and organisation, so I hadn’t really thought or allowed myself to think what if he says no.’

But it was too late to worry. Laura said: ‘I had lured him into the urban jungle centre to make out that I was asking for a specific tree for my mother, to which the staff worker knew where to point me in the right direction knowing the plan.

‘Once we approached the decorated poly tunnel I opened the door for him to walk in first and it then all very much all just came together. I got down on one knee and produced his ring.

She added: ‘I wanted to make the proposal all about him. I wanted to say thank you for all he has and continues to do for me.’

Luckily for Laura, Jordan ‘did not hesitate’ to say yes.

‘He was shocked and said he had no idea of the plans, not at any stage,’ she added.

Laura’s plan had worked out, but when it came to the wedding, factors beyond their control took over in March when the UK went into lockdown amid the Covid-19 pandemic.

‘The following month we then went into national lock down so any wedding preparation took a bit of a back seat,’ she explained.

That winter, Laura received news that her breast cancer had returned. ‘In November, I found out that my breast cancer had returned. My worst nightmare, but Jordan was right beside me.

Laura wanted to make the proposal all about Jordan, to show how thankful she is for him and how he has cared for her

While the pair are yet to go on a honeymoon due to Laura’s health concerns, they hope it will happen in the near future

How to propse on Leap Day

Before getting down on one knee, make sure you’re it’s the right choice.

Tina Wilson, Relationship Expert and Wingman Founder, has given her top tips if you’re looking to propose to your partner…

Speak to your friends first

‘Your friends will be brutally honest with you, so talk to them ahead of time about your intentions before you take the leap. Gather the right feedback and objective clarity, Tina said.

She added: ‘Those who know you best will be the perfect people to confide in – your Wingman – helping you navigate your feelings. The assurance you will gain will ensure you are making the right choice.’

Timing is everything

‘Select a moment when you both feel relaxed and connected, ensuring you have your partner’s undivided attention,’ Tina said.

‘Opt for a place that is meaningful to both of you, where you feel comfortable in each other’s company, or on equal grounds for both of you.

‘By carefully choosing the timing, you can set the stage for a memorable and meaningful conversation that strengthens your bond as a couple. Being aligned to your partner’s emotional needs and wants will enhance the likelihood of a positive answer.’

Be prepared for life changes

Tina explained: ‘Proposing is a significant step that can potentially reshape your relationship. This could be ‘make or break’ time. You could get a yes or a no, so be mentally prepared for any response, whether it’s a heartfelt ‘yes’ or a respectful ‘no.’

‘Go into the proposal with the mindset that if it doesn’t go your way, it could be the catalyst for deeper conversations about your future and the start of both of you assessing the relationship, which can ultimately lead to a breakup.

‘Try to see the positives whether it is the news you are expecting or not. But do remember marriage isn’t for everyone and it might not mean they don’t see your relationship lasting forever.’

Drop some hints

‘Drop some subtle hints to gauge your partner’s reactions and readiness for marriage,’ Tina said.

‘Their reaction from what they say or even by assessing their body language can be very revealing.

‘A good tip is to start by dropping some hints when you are around married couples and pay attention to how your partner reacts when you talk to them about your other couples and what loving displays you are observing.

‘These subtle cues can provide valuable insights into your partner’s thoughts and feelings, helping you gauge their readiness for taking the next step in your relationship.’

Tailor the proposal to speak to your partner

‘Definitely look at personalising the proposal in line with their interests and loves,’ Tina said.

‘This will make the moment more meaningful, heartfelt, and memorable for both of you. To do this, think about their hobbies and passions and craft a proposal on leap day that way.’

She added: ‘Remember, proposing in any year is always nerve-wracking, and you can never be truly sure of the other person’s reactions. So, make it memorable for yourselves as a couple without overthinking it.’

‘We agreed to make the wedding happen before I started intensive chemotherapy and I lost my hair.’

The pair planned their wedding from start to finish in six weeks and set the date for 8 January 2021. Laura explained: ‘It was beautiful in every way.’

Just three days after the couple tied the knot, Laura underwent the planned surgery, and by two weeks, she started chemotherapy.

She said: ‘We are still hoping to get the magical honeymoon, unfortunately life doesn’t stop, especially as a family of seven.

‘I have recently had reassuring news that my scan shows no signs of cancer, but having had it twice makes you feel so nervous of what the future holds.’

The past few years haven’t been easy for Laura, but her getting down on one knee has been a constant source of happiness.

‘I would say to any woman looking to propose to absolutely go for it, life is for living and I have no regrets,’ Laura said.

She concluded: ‘It’s a story to tell and yes, out of the norm, but for me, I wanted to take control and show my love and appreciation. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for my husband.