Woman, 34, reveals how she finally felt like a 'normal person' after finding her sperm donor and siblings, including half-brother

A woman has revealed the trauma she suffered when she learned she had been conceived by a donor at the age of 21 in a new ITV documentary.

Amanda Burgess, 34, from Clacton-on-Sea, was shocked to discover her heritage during a drunken night at the local pub when she was 21.

She began to learn the nature of her conception when she overheard her mother's conversation in the pub, after years of sitting in the dark.

'From that moment on, life was just different. I wasn't the person I was 24 hours ago,” Amanda said.

She longed to find out more information about her sperm donor, but was afraid she would upset her parents.

However, she eventually launched her search for information in a new ITV documentary, Born from the Same Stranger. In a whirlwind episode, Amanda discovered she has four half-siblings and even managed to contact her sperm donor.

Amanda's experience raises the question of whether donor children have the right to know the identity of their donor.

The four-part series follows a British law change that came into effect in 2023 and ended donor anonymity. It means that anyone conceived by donation after 2005 can apply from the age of 18 to find out more details about their identity.

In the emotional episode, Amanda recalled the moment she found out she was pregnant from a donor.

“It was a normal night going to the pub with my friends, and little did I know it would change life,” she said.

'I was 21. That night out was just like any other normal night out, and then my mother came in.

'My friend looked at her and said, “You have to tell her.” My mother had told my girlfriend's mother the big secret, and the next morning my mother simply blurted it out: “Your father is not your father, we had to use a sperm donor.”

'From that moment on, life was just different. I wasn't the person I was 24 hours ago. Suddenly I was donor conceived.'

In the years after her surprising discovery, Amanda started a family of her own, which helped her understand her parents' decision.

After about a year of trying to start a family with her partner Kevin, the couple started having fertility problems.

“The doctors advised us to do IVF,” she said. Fortunately, the couple later managed to have a son together.

“Ryder is half me and half Kevin, but the parallels are quite similar to what my parents had to experience,” she said.

“It made me understand what they would have felt at the time when they were obviously trying to have a child and start a family and it wasn't really working for them,” the mother of one added.

But although Amanda can empathize with her parents, one topic remained difficult to discuss with them.

“I want to know who my donor is,” Amanda said. She continued, “Just a name, or a picture, I just don't want to upset my parents.”

To start her journey, Amanda sought advice from a person with similar experiences and found Louise, a donor-conceived journalist and podcaster.

The mother-of-one traveled to South London to visit Louise.

Amanda explained that she wanted to look for her relatives, but was afraid she would upset her parents.

She told Louise: 'I don't want him [my dad] to think I don't love him, because I do, and that will never change.”

But there is a whole other person out there who is half of me.”

Louise sympathized with Amanda after experiencing a similar situation. 'I also went to bed at night and thought: “Who is this man?” Only this question mark existed.'

Amanda responded, “It's this weird elephant that's in the room and it's always there, and we have to tiptoe around it.”

But the conversation with Louise brought clarity.

Thirteen years after Amanda found out she was conceived by a donor, she finally felt ready to get a DNA test.

'I feel like the time is right now, I'll just do it. I really need to know,” she said.

Amanda added: 'If I knew the identity of the donor, I would know who I am once and for all.'

She added, “And if there are any half-siblings, I would love to have a relationship with them.”

It's very difficult, you almost don't know who you are.'

Three months after submitting her DNA, she received some answers.

The experience proved emotional for Amanda, who broke down in tears when she received more information than she initially expected.

The DNA website found a match for her sperm donor.

“I really didn't think my donor would be on one of these sites,” she said.

Amanda added: 'It's there in black and white, it's real, the person exists.'

Another genealogy website revealed that she had four half-siblings on her father's side. “It's weird, it shows a half-sister, she's a lawyer and I studied law at university, how weird.”

“That's a lot more information than I knew 20 minutes ago, but I'm a little baffled now,” she said.

Amanda decided to reach out to her matches in hopes of building a relationship.

“I'm very aware that I'm going to shoot someone's life, and they may not want that,” she acknowledged.

After messaging her half-siblings, Amanda was happy to find out she wanted to meet her half-brother, Guy, also 34.

The half-siblings went to Edinburgh, where Guy works as a Ryanair pilot.

Unlike Amanda, Guy discovered at the age of 13 that he was donor conceived.

Guy had grown up as an only child and thought it was “great” that he could now bond with a brother or sister.

After meeting, the pair hit it off and found common ground.

Amanda said, “He seems like a really nice person, and he internally understands how I feel because he's dealing with that too.”

“What Amanda and I had today is special, it's amazing,” Guy added.

Amanda hopes that the relationship will turn into a deep family bond in the future.

However, Amanda's discovery didn't end there. She also contacted her sperm donor through an intermediary.

The couple messaged each other and her donor was happy to answer any questions.

Amanda, delighted with her findings, summarized: 'It makes you feel like normal people, I guess.'

In the future, the mother of one plans to strengthen her relationship with Guy and her sperm donor.

She concluded, “I definitely feel lighter like a weight being lifted inside, and I feel like I'm not so alone anymore.”