JENNI MURRAY: 25 years later, women my age regret the day Viagra was invented

Oh, the excitement among the men in my circle of 45- to 50-year-olds when 25 years ago a little blue pill called Viagra was approved for use in Britain to treat erectile dysfunction.

I don’t remember any of the men using the word “dysfunction” as a reason for wanting to do something about it as soon as possible.

“Why are you so interested in this?” asked those of us – women – who were perfectly content with a close, warm, affectionate and sometimes exciting sex life.

‘What do you want it for? You have no problem.’ “You’re right,” they all nodded sagely. ‘But think about it. We’ll be bigger and stiffer – guaranteed. You’ll all love it.’

How our hearts sank. Had they never listened when we told them it wasn’t the size that mattered, but how they used their equipment that got us so excited?

Were their ears closed when, on the rare occasions when they seemed to wither a little, they said that we didn’t really care. We weren’t as hungry for it day to day as we were when we were younger.

Yes, sex was great at times. But as we got older, the need for them to perform – to affirm their masculinity and our femininity – became less and less pressing every time we got into bed.

Often a kiss, a hug and a good night’s sleep was completely satisfying. We didn’t want to fight our exhaustion and deal with a chemically induced expression of desire at all times of the day and night.

We didn’t want this to last much longer. We didn’t want to have to deal with the aftermath of some over-enthusiastic abuse.

No, from the moment it was launched in 1998, Viagra was no longer on our shopping list. With Viagra we had a scientific discovery that was completely male-centric and ignored the views and needs of women.

We weren’t even asked for our opinion on whether a priapic husband or lover would be a good thing. The men surveyed thought it was a great idea and went on to give Pfizer one of the most lucrative accidental discoveries in medical science.

The pill was almost overlooked. A group of Pfizer chemists conducted a medical trial for an angina drug on young men in Sandwich, Kent. The men did not respond well to the medications; five of the eight had ‘very hard erections’ as a result.

Only when it became apparent that these patients were reluctant to give back the anti-anginal medications did the penny drop. Bingo!

Some more research and Viagra was born. There is a plaque marking the moment of the launch in Sandwich; the chemist who led the project has a knighthood.

But the development of Viagra was something of a disaster for women. In 2018, designer Diane von Furstenberg described it as “the worst thing to happen to women in the last fifteen years.”

I have plenty of friends who have told me they completely agree with her. They have often felt like they should just say no, but in that kind and generous way that women so often suffer from, they have been afraid to reject any approach because they don’t want to make the man feel like he is is no longer loved or wanted. .

Instead, they’ve suffered from constant bullying – and it’s gotten worse as they’ve gotten older and their own libido has waned.

In 2022 alone, 4.35 million prescriptions were distributed, and the oldest user was 99 years old.

Former Senator Bob Dole, then 75, appeared in the US launch commercial. Hugh Hefner took so much of it that after he died at 91, his wife revealed that it left him deaf in one ear.

Michael Douglas, 79, and Jack Nicholson, 86, both took it.

Some younger men, including cricketer Freddie Flintoff, now 45, have been seduced by it.

After taking three Viagra one night during a Test match, he recalled: “Trying to bat in that state the next day was not easy. I was exhausted simply because I couldn’t move. All I could do was jump.” That’s just not cricket. Pity the poor wives and girlfriends of all.

The interesting thing Viagra has taught us about sex is that making one of those mighty erections possible by relaxing the blood vessels in the penis doesn’t increase desire. You still have to be ready to be ready.

Murray Blacket, a psychosexual therapist, recently noted: ‘Before Viagra, erectile dysfunction was thought to be 90 percent psychological and 10 percent organic. With everything the drug companies have released over the years, that has now been reversed.

It is mainly seen as an organic, physical problem.’

May I then suggest, guys, that it is time to think about this carefully. Maybe you can’t get up without Viagra because you watch too much pornography, don’t exercise, don’t eat well, and rarely sleep well. You are old, you are exhausted, you and your partner are past childbearing age. The Full Monty is no longer necessary.

Viagra has possible side effects: headaches, nausea, digestive problems, and dizziness are common.

There is also a risk of embarrassing priapism (an erection that won’t go away) and even cardiac arrest.

Instead, guys, get fit, stop worrying about your penis and learn how to love the woman you love. She will thank you and will never think that you don’t like her anymore. A kiss, a hug and an ‘I love you’ are fine.

Believe me, I know.

They didn’t look like that at all!

We’re excited in this household that tonight sees the start of the final series of The Crown. It is the first television program that my Ukrainian guest, Zoriana, is looking forward to. It’s very big there, she tells me.

Everyone loves to learn about the real life of the British Royal Family. I didn’t want to disappoint her by saying that it’s not all true, or that so many of the characters bear only a passing resemblance to the genuine article. Glad Meg Bellamy is a dead ringer for the Princess of Wales. Zoriana loves Kate.

But William and Harry? Oh dear!

TV proves that women’s prisons are still bad

I can’t remember the last time I cried during a TV programme, but Jimmy McGovern’s BBC drama Time (starring Jodie Whittaker) brought me to tears.

A young woman, abused by her drug dealer boyfriend, discovers she is pregnant. One of her cellmates helps deliver her baby. She finds a rare place in a mother and baby ward. She is drug free and loses the house and her baby thanks to her boyfriend’s abuse.

In 2007, Baroness Corston published her report on the damage children suffer from the harsh, often short sentences served by their mothers.

She proposed a conventional prison, only for women who are dangerous. Why are her proposals still on the shelf?

I will always remember the joy of the original Avon ladies

“Ding-dong, Avon is calling,” I often heard in my youth as we teased my Avon Lady mother.

So I was relieved to hear that the role will continue, even as the cosmetics giant is now launching stores to reach more working women.

Some traditions should never die.

So Suella Braverman’s resignation letter… Prime Minister Rishi Sunak and his special advisers have clearly forgotten the saying: ‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.’

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