‘Everyone is welcome here’

After a year of raising seed money, Lightner founded the Portland Community Football Club in 2013 with grants and donated equipment from Nike. The club was a rarity because everyone had a place. Nobody is cut. Lightner placed more emphasis on developing skilled players than becoming stars. Families paid $50 to join, but less than that was OK. Not paying a penny was also fine.

At his first practice, held in a worn-out corner of a public park, 50 kids showed up. Soon there were 75. Then 100. The club played in winter, spring, summer and autumn.

“Coach Kaig became a constant in our lives,” says Shema Jacques, one of the program’s first stalwarts. Jacques, now a 22-year-old marine, first learned the basics of soccer in a Rwandan refugee camp, but honed his game at PCFC. “From the beginning I saw that he believed in us. He would be there for us for anything we needed. I had never seen anyone like that.”

Lightner was open about being transgender to everyone in his life except PCFC players and families, and the dissonance ate him up. So on that rainy day in 2017, he gathered all the players who showed up for training for a chat.

“I want you to know about me, and I also want you to know that I am still me,” he said. “I’m still the same person I was five minutes before you all knew about this, right? I’m still the same guy who comes out here, makes you better footballers, comes to you when you’re not playing hard, loves you no matter what.’

He saw nothing but acceptance when he looked into his players’ eyes. Jacques was one of them.

“Suddenly, when I heard that, it all made sense,” Jacques said. “This is why he knows what it’s like for so many of us – not being accepted, trying our best to fit in. I actually felt more connected to him as he spoke, and I’m not alone. He was still the person I looked up to and wanted to be like.”