TRACEY COX Reveals 5 Ways To Get Intimate Without Actually Having Sex

Hands up if you think penis-in-vagina sex is often the most uninspired, least enjoyable part.

Well, that’s a hand waving in the air – mine!

Tongues and fingers are much more agile than a penis will ever be, capable of producing much more varied and refined sensations.

Body parts arranged in a more inventive way and high-tech sex toys (try electrostimulation) make ordinary orgasms extraordinary.

Aside from wanting something more interesting than the repetitive pump-pump of penetration, there are other reasons why “real” sex is sometimes off the table.

When intercourse isn’t the best idea

That way you don’t have an orgasm.

You have thrush, cystitis or an outbreak of an STI.

You don’t want to get pregnant.

You don’t have a condom to hand and there is a problem with safe sex.

You are a virgin and you want to stay that way.

You just don’t want to go ‘all the way’ just yet.

Penetration is painful.

You suffer from vaginismus.

You’re on your period.

He has erection problems.

You have mobility problems or other health problems that make sexual intercourse difficult or impossible.

Said yes to someone on the list?

Add some much-needed variety to the standard couples sex formula of one-quarter breast/fingers/(if you’re lucky) oral to three-quarters intercourse by trying a few.

HAVE GLUTEAL OR BREAST SEX

What? You avoid the obvious places to put a penis and instead prefer places like between the breasts or buttocks.

Why? It’s different, quite exciting and dead simple. It feels great and it’s non-threatening, low-effort sex that’s surprisingly sensual and erotic.

How? Use the valley created by your butt cheeks as an alternative ‘vagina’. Add lube, clamp your buttocks together and rotate your pelvis so that your buttocks are lifted; he pushes between them.

This technique also works well on breasts. Put some lube between your breasts, hold them together and let him thrust between them.

TRY FROTTAGE

What? ‘Frott’ is French for ‘to rub’. You essentially rub your erogenous zones on something or body parts together to create enough friction to orgasm.

Why? Dry humping or grinding is what you did when you were teenagers and you weren’t allowed to go all the way. Remaking it will take you back to those heady, hormone-fueled days.

How? Do it with clothes on or off. Adjust the angle to hit the right spot and experiment completely nude or with different fabrics.

Thicker fabrics, such as denim, allow you to press harder; thin fabrics such as silk allow things to slide pleasantly.

If you’re rubbing naked against each other, add some lube to your genitals and hump each other’s legs, thighs, or hips. Or sit in missionary position and grind together – put on underwear.

TOGETHER FOR MUTUAL MASTURBATION

What? Touching yourself until you cum while your partner does the same. Or masturbate each other with your hands at the same time.

Why? It’s versatile (many couples did it via Zoom during lockdown) and informative (you see up close the techniques your partner uses to climax).

Masturbating yourself while your partner is watching is the only true form of safe sex; masturbating each other is also very low risk (assuming you wash your hands before touching yourself afterwards).

How? Shy? Opt for a side-by-side position. Lie face to face and close your eyes if you feel embarrassed. Old hands? (Sorry but couldn’t resist the pun). One of you lies on your back, the other kneels between their legs. Or try sitting cross-legged across from each other for the best seats in the house: a satisfying, full-width view.

Add dirty talk, use a toy, put on a show by stimulating all kinds of hot spots. If you’re not together, put your phone’s camera on the bed, hit record, and masturbate over it.

ENJOY EROTIC GENITAL MASSAGE ON IT

What? Genital massage has been around for thousands of years. The true, unadulterated versions rely heavily on the Kama Sutra and tantric sex and are preceded by all sorts of bizarre, intricate rituals. I’ve simplified to more practical techniques.

Why? Most of us touch our partner’s genitals in exactly the same way every time. Replace that tired touch with these simple yet transformative techniques and you’ll be reinventing the wheel.

How? Have him lie on his back on the bed, legs apart and you kneeling between them. Grab some good quality lube and keep it handy so you can refill. The idea is that he stays in the moment instead of rushing to orgasm. If he gets too excited, stop, put both hands on top of his penis and hold with light pressure for a minute.

The roll: Hold his testicles between fingers and thumb and gently, slowly and lightly, roll them using the pads of your fingertips. Then place your hands under his testicles so that they rest gently on your fingers and tickle with the pads of your fingers. The lighter the pressure, the finer the sensation.

The spiral: Hold the base of the penis with one hand and hold it tight with the other. Start at the bottom and slide upwards in a circular, twisting motion as you twist toward the head. Imagine a corkscrew: that’s the movement you’re mimicking.

The fire: Imagine you have a stick between your palms and you are trying to start a fire. Keep your palms straight, opposite each side of his penis. Using a rolling motion, start at the bottom and slide up and then back down, keeping the motion consistent and rhythmic.

TRY FOR A TANTRIC ORGASM FOR THE WHOLE BODY

What? The difference between a WBO and your average garden variety is that you feel it throughout your body, not just centered in your genital area.

Why? Imagine wave-like pulsations of energy flowing from head to toe and you’ll get an idea of ​​what it feels like. But there’s a catch…it takes a lot of practice to master. The good news is that I did an accelerated cheat version.

How? The basic idea is to get to the “almost” stage a few times before allowing yourself to orgasm through oral sex or hand stimulation.

Start by tensing your pelvic floor muscles and anus a few times: this will bring energy throughout your body.

When you feel really turned on, stop moving, squeeze those PC muscles hard and visualize sexual energy moving up your spine. After a moment or two, resume stimulation.

Repeat this a few times and finally allow yourself to climax. As the contractions and waves begin, pump up that PC muscle, squeeze your anus tight, and imagine sending all that orgasmic energy up your spine. Instead of holding your breath, keep breathing and keep your PC muscle contracted for as long as possible.

You can find Tracey’s two ranges of sex toys, Tracey Cox Edge and Tracey Cox Supersex, at Lovehoney. Find details of her podcast, SexTok with Tracey and Kelsey, her blog and books at traceycox.com.