Eric Grothe: Footy legend admits he turned to drugs in his playing days and ‘did cocaine pretty heavily’ as he confesses that he broke up his family by ‘chasing girls’

Parramatta Eels icon Eric Grothe has made the startling admission that he faked injuries to avoid playing matches and turned heavily to drugs after his football career was over.

Grothe, 64, is remembered as one of the most intimidating wingers in the history of the game and was part of the Eels’ golden era that saw ‘Guru’ win four premierships, including three in a row from 1981-83.

Now the rugby league hardman has revealed he was often fearful and had ‘no self-esteem’ during his career.

“I played football in a scared way,” he explained at Andy Raymond’s Unfiltered podcast.

‘I felt like I was small; everyone seemed bigger to me. It got worse. I just felt uncomfortable, to the point where if it was a Sunday game, on Friday and Saturday nights I would think I don’t want to play on Sunday.

Parramatta legend Eric Grothe says he faked injuries to avoid playing games

Grothe admits that he is having a hard time mentally and says that he played football ‘scared’

‘That’s why it got to the point where I started faking injuries. It became too much for me, so I unsubscribed. It was a battle I often fought indoors.

‘There were a number of matches that I withdrew from on Sunday morning. I called (Eels) doctor (Peter) Manollaras and said: “Pete, I can’t play, my knee or ankle hurts”. I told him I didn’t want to play. Then I would be happy.

“I had drugs while playing, just regular marijuana. But I never really escaped from myself. You try to run away from yourself. You make excuses. Smoking saved me from having to deal with it.

“I learned quite a bit about depression after going through it. I fought with that. I couldn’t find the strength to fight it or get over it to see the real picture. I was a gentle, scared person.”

Grothe says he hid his feelings from friends, family and teammates — and only found himself in recent years after accepting responsibility for the breakup of his family.

“I destroyed my family by playing,” he said.

‘And that happened in 90-91, I think when my wife and I separated.

The football legend says teammates and friends were unaware of his mental demons

Grothe (pictured right with footy star son Eric Jr., centre) says he sometimes used drugs heavily

‘I was retired at the time. I had the two packs again. I was this soft, scared person and the other one who lived his dream and thought I was tough.

“The ego, chasing girls and stuff like that. I just did the wrong thing. I broke up the family.

“Everything is fine now, but I did those things. I mainly thought about myself.’

Grothe admitted that he sometimes used drugs heavily after his career ended, calling it “a terrible cycle.”

“I did quite a lot of cocaine there for a while,” he said.

‘I half knew what could happen if I did it too much. It’s just fleeting. When you come downstairs and lie in bed, you start thinking, ‘Why? Why did I do that?’

“Reality sets in and it overwhelms you when you think you’re going to get a few more.

‘It’s a terrible cycle. You feel like there’s no end to it, but it is, it’s always there.’