You'll fall for this Jamaican resort: You don't have to be on your honeymoon to fall in love with Sandals' romantic new adults-only hotel
My wife and I are celebrating our tenth wedding anniversary, but when the DJ asks “Hands up, any honeymooners,” we feel like supporting characters in a swirling sea of romance.
So many hands shoot up that it's impossible to count them and soon couples of all ages, including ourselves, are strutting their stuff on the dance floor to the sounds of Bob Marley, under a starry sky.
Snake-hipped waiters join in, their bodies like corkscrews across the floor.
The music gets louder. The dancing becomes more crazy. I have never seen so many big smiles on so many faces.
A young Michigan couple looks like they're about to go into space.
Sandals Dunn's River is located on the Jamaican coast, near the town of Ocho Rios
'Every little thing works out fine! Yes, all the little things work out!!” You'd have to be terribly jaded not to get caught up in the moment.
It's not just the rum that speaks, but there's plenty of that as this is an all-inclusive resort, with free food and drinks.
Beyond love, the glue that binds us together is a passion for the Caribbean, undoubtedly the most romantic of all destinations: sun, sea and sand dancing in harmony to a calypso beat.
Sandals opened its first resort in the region in 1981, and there are now nine in Jamaica alone, with the new Sandals Dunn's River, overlooking a sandy beach on the northeast coast, being the chicest yet.
From beach bars to rooftop bars, from spas to boutiques, from elegant pools to luxurious restaurants, it has little to offer.
Max Davidson describes the resort as a feast for the eyes and the lobby certainly lives up to that
Newly built resorts can sometimes feel a bit soulless, but this is a feast for the eyes and fits right in with the lush tropical setting.
Just staring at the sea, lined with palm trees, and seeing the impossibly blue water and the small waves breaking on the coral reef that protects the bay makes the heart sing.
It's an adults-only resort and its target audience is unapologetically couples on whom Cupid's arrow has scored a direct hit.
Romantic ornate touches abound, from candlelit tables for two on the beach to roving photographers ready to capture the perfect honeymoon photo.
This is not the time to be British and understated. In our luxurious balcony suite, complete with private plunge pool, the bed is covered in red petals that say WELCOME. It's cheesy, but there are times when you need cheesy.
Each room at the resort features dedicated butlers ready to serve champagne
“Champagne, man?” asks Michael, our dreadlocked butler. Think Jeeves with a Jamaican twist. Or rather: one of our butlers. At Sandals they don't do anything halfway.
Our other butler, the soft-spoken Taniefa, could be a Bond girl, which is only appropriate given the setting. This part of Jamaica will forever be associated with James Bond and his creator Ian Fleming, who had a house on the island.
Remember when Ursula Andress emerged from the sea in Dr. No, in that bikini?
It was filmed on a beach just around the corner from the resort, which definitely calls for a vodka martini or two.
Next to the beach is a luxury villa owned by English football star Raheem Sterling, born in Jamaica.
A lot has changed here in the seventy years since the first Bond novel was published in 1953. The economy is faltering. The locals complain about inflation, politicians and rush hour traffic.
But this exquisite tropical island, with its densely forested mountains and more than a hundred rivers, has lost none of its charm.
Although we usually limit ourselves to the resort, we enjoy an unforgettable day exploring the area with a guide from the Jamaica Tourist Board.
A street kiosk selling coconuts in the Ocho Rios area on the north coast of the island
Highlights include climbing the waterfall at Dunn's River, splashing around in rocky pools and then taking a wooden raft down another river, overgrown with trees and vines, with nothing but songbirds to listen to.
Another treat is lunch at Miss T's Kitchen, a rustic open-air restaurant popular with locals.
Grilled fish, caught that morning. Fresh mango. Rum punch. The chatter of local gossip in the background. The resort itself offers simple Jamaican fare in the wooden jerk shack on the beach, but it's the range and quality of international cuisine that has us drooling night after night.
The resort has numerous dining options ranging from French to Japanese and Latin American
A classy French restaurant is topped by an even better Japanese restaurant, which in turn is topped by another restaurant serving up an embarrassment of culinary riches from Latin America.
It's next to a beautifully seedy rum club, full of beautiful young people.
We quickly learn that if we want to do dinner justice, we have to be careful not to overdo things earlier in the day.
No more than two glasses of Buck's Fizz for breakfast is becoming a golden rule.
Daytime entertainment ranges from volleyball on the beach to trivia quizzes and pottery and salsa lessons. Nothing too strenuous. In the background, saxophonists or steel bands maintain the atmosphere.
A few times, a sharp tropical rain shower causes the newlyweds to rush indoors. Club sandwiches get soggy. The saxophonist almost falls into the pool. Even in paradise there has to be a little rain. But the pianist in the lobby continues where the saxophonist left off.
“Come back soon,” our butlers sing, smiling as we leave.
That could just be possible. If James Bond had stayed here, he would have had such a good time that he would have completely forgotten about saving the world.