JAN MOIR: Prince Harry reforming journalism? He doesn’t even know how a comma works

Deep breath. Is everything all right? The Duke of Sussex was back in court on his second and final day of testifying. He entered the witness stand just before 10:30 a.m., rolled his neck a little, took a sip of water, and prepared for the ordeal ahead.

The prince was still in his smart suit and had swapped Tuesday’s purple tie for a hip silver one – but there was something else too. Something more elusive. Did I detect a fresh squeeze of lemon in his cocktail of complaint, a sizzling grind of pepper on his running beef?

It was almost as if he had been instructed overnight to answer questions with a simple “yes” or “no” and, for God’s sake, stick to the script. For example, he had a better answer to the important question if he had read the relevant newspaper articles.

On Tuesday, he told the court repeatedly that he couldn’t remember the ending. Yesterday it was: ‘I can’t remember, but that means the stress has decreased and it hasn’t.’

Soon we were scrolling through evidence about his wild and crazy younger life, including an injured knee that slowed his entry into Sandhurst, his forays into lap dance clubs, his “boozy playboy lifestyle,” and his relationship with Chelsy Davy.

Solicitor Andrew Green, representing Mirror Group Newspapers (MGN), is leaving the Royal Courts of Justice after Prince Harry

Prince Harry – so vague about so much that happened then – suddenly had an enlightening memory. He argued that he did not go to the London nightclub Amika once a month (“I don’t think I was there that often”) and questioned the newspaper’s version of events (“I don’t see any quotes from the Lithuanian lapdancer who sat on my lap”).

But we all know Harry by now. Give our guy a public platform and it won’t be long before he’s complaining about his privacy. Although to be fair, this IS a phone hacking trial and not an exercise in revenge. Or is it?

During his cross-examination by Andrew Green KC, acting for Mirror Group Newspapers, Prince Harry revealed that he decided to take the case after meeting lawyer David Sherborne in the south of France, known as a sunny place for dark people, but of course that is irrelevant here.

Harry also revealed that part of his motivation for the lawsuit was a desire to do something about the “abuse and hatred that came my way and my wife” in recent years. So an exercise in vengeance and punishment rather than an exercise in justice and ethics?

Prince Harry described himself grandly in his testimony as someone who “wants to save journalism as a profession” and “a soldier who upholds important values.” It would be just crushing to discover that this warrior of morality was motivated, even a little bit, by less noble feelings.

Despite his new focus, it was not long before the Prince drifted far from shore again, answering the questions in his head instead of the ones he had just been asked and taking every opportunity to explain his general grievances to the judge. “Doesn’t mean it’s true, my lord,” he would say. “I doubt very much, my lord,” he added. Mr. Green got a little annoyed at one point. “Can I just repeat what I said yesterday – it’s about me asking you questions, not you asking me questions,” he said.

“So be it,” the KC sighed, after another dead-end conversation with the Prince. A discussion arose again about what was and was not in the public interest. Prince Harry was asked to define the first, and thought about it. “A life-threatening injury?” he proposed. “I’m sure there are more.”

I’m sure there are. Time and time again, we got glimpses into the unique struggles of the young prince’s monastic life, a wretched-sounding existence limited by suspicion and privilege. He was grumpy to everyone, and in this bead of distrust he was served by people he variously described as “my security,” “my point of contact,” and even “my police.”

A court artist sketch of Prince Harry being cross-examined by Andrew Green KC, acting for Mirror Group Newspapers

Sometimes you have to wonder, who the hell took care of this lost, motherless boy? At other times, his lack of sharpness is gasping.

Towards the end of the day, the focus shifted to a news story about his breakup with Chelsy Davy, printed with the headline ‘Hooray Harry’s Dumped’. “Your honour, this was hurtful to say the least,” the prince said, adding that he thought it was “a bit mean” that such a private moment was turned “into a bit of laughter.”

“You’re not suggesting that she [the newspaper] celebrated being dumped,” Green said in disbelief. ‘Yes that’s me. To me,” said Harry, touching his heart with fluttering fingers, “as a subject or victim of this, it is hurtful to see that word used in this term.”

If only there was a newspaper deputy editor—or someone with a rudimentary understanding of grammar—to explain the difference between Hooray Harry’s Dumped and Hooray Harry’s Dumped.

How can a man get an expensive education without knowing the basic rules of punctuation? Or does he expect to “save journalism” on his own if he doesn’t even know how a comma works?

When he finished his testimony, Prince Harry took his place in court for the rest of the day. How had it all gone? That morning, Mr. Green had asked him if it was true that he had come back early from his tour of duty in Afghanistan. “I’ve been evacuated, yes,” said Prince Harry.

You could say much the same about his hours on the witness stand.