The sexual red flags every woman needs to know: TRACEY COX reveals the early warning signs of trouble to look out for in the bedroom

Do you want a relationship with a satisfying and fulfilling sex life?

Keep your eyes wide open for these early warning signs that indicate future problems.

Unhealthy or manipulative behavior reveals itself quickly: you just need to know what to look for.

RED FLAGS FROM HIM

Keep both eyes open and alert to all of the below.

HE IS NOT WAITING FOR ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT

Does he live under a rock?

Every man under 50 should be aware that at every stage he should check whether you are willing to go a step further when having sex for the first time.

Most couples keep sex simple in the beginning of the relationship. If he needs an extra kick during the honeymoon, what will that mean as the relationship progresses? (stock image)

We’re not just talking about consent, but enthusiastic consent. This means a ‘Hell yes! Don’t you dare stop now’, he responds when he asks, ‘Do you like this? Are you happy to continue?’. Not a doubtful and unhappy sounding, “I think so.”

Continuing under these circumstances is not only a red flag, but also a possible criminal offense. Unacceptable and dangerous.

Get out of there and don’t look back.

THERE IS PRESSURE TO MOVE TOO FAST

There is permission and there is pressure.

Maybe you’re okay with having sex with him, but you don’t want to do it right away. If he insists on having sex before you’re ready (the time frame you set doesn’t matter, by the way), it shows a lack of respect for your boundaries and comfort level. It also indicates troubling issues with control and respect.

Just as alarming, but in a different way, is the man who insists on unusual or super adventurous sex a few dates or weeks later.

Most couples keep sex simple at first: you don’t need acrobats when you’re stimulated by novelty and the cocktail of powerful love and sex hormones flooding your brain.

If he needs an extra kick during the honeymoon, what will he ask for in three years when sex becomes a predictable routine?

British sex expert Tracey Cox (pictured) revealed the top sex red flags to look out for in a sexual partner

HE IS TOO FOCUSED ON YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

While it’s nice to get compliments on your appearance, check the “trophy girlfriend” box if that’s the only thing he ever seems to notice or comment on.

Fine, if you like being wanted just because of how you look; not so nice if it also includes brains and personality. (Is anyone happy to be put in the ‘substantive woman’ box?)

Not only does it mean that your opinion and perspective are not valued, but being sought out solely because of your physical attributes puts you in a precarious position.

What happens if you gain or lose weight? What happens when you get older? What if there is someone prettier, thinner, with bigger lips and breasts competing for his attention later?

When someone falls in love with you as a whole – your quirkiness, kindness, fierce intelligence, humor, charm and talent – ​​you are hard to replace. Beautiful girls are everywhere.

Besides, do you really want to be with a man who values ​​looks above all else? Serious?

He talks awkwardly about sex

A little awkwardness in the beginning is normal: you are both trying to determine each other’s sexual norms and boundaries based on feeling.

But beware of someone who clams up when sex is mentioned or feels uncomfortable when there’s a raunchy scene in a movie or TV show.

Most couples don’t keep quiet about sex in the beginning.

You’re constantly talking about how great each other is in bed, how hot that session was, what you want to discover, how you’re going to delight each other once you’re alone.

Only when problems arise can the subject become off-limits.

It’s hard enough to get over that hurdle. But if you haven’t even laid the foundation for honest, open communication, it will be virtually impossible to resolve future sex problems.

If you’re up for it, do a little research to find out why he’s reluctant to talk about sex.

A conservative or religious upbringing perhaps? Lost his virginity and feels insecure as a lover?

The most important thing to find out is whether he is willing to challenge useless messages from the past.

If the answer is yes, give him a chance. If no, turn left.

RED FLAGS FROM HER

Each of the following behaviors is a sign of trouble to come.

SHE USES SEX TO MANIPULATE YOU

Beware of a wildly fluctuating libido. One moment a sex fanatic, the next moment curious and completely uninterested. She may use sex to manipulate or control situations, such as withholding sex to get what she wants.

If you don’t mind being a puppet on a string (with your penis attached to one end), go ahead. If you prefer sexual authenticity, stay away.

This behavior quickly creates a toxic dynamic in which sex becomes a bargaining tool rather than a mutual expression of intimacy.

She needs constant assurance about her desirability

Being too dependent on validation indicates deeper insecurities that can put unnecessary strain on the relationship.

Body image issues have ruined many a potentially brilliant sex life; deep insecurities about her appearance indicate narcissistic behavioral traits.

The former can be addressed with love and understanding. The second places you in the (largely unappreciated) role of constant reassurance.

She doesn’t talk about contraception

No prizes for guessing why this is a frantically waving red flag. Looking for a baby daddy, anyone?

“I never liked sex until I met you.”

Your ego may be through the roof, but this is usually an indication that her interest in sex is very low. The chemistry may be intense now, but will her overall sex drive match yours in the long run?

Also be careful with, “Sex with you is like nothing I’ve ever experienced.” Again, flattering. But it can mask problems with sexual compatibility, unrealistic expectations, or a history of dissatisfaction.

If her previous sexual experiences were mostly negative or unsatisfactory, find out why.

She is overreacting to a performance problem

Sex is stressful for both of you at first – but even more so for men, because everything is visible and obvious.

Not being able to get or keep an erection, coming too quickly, or taking forever: these kinds of things happen even when (especially when) you’re in the mood for her.

How she reacts in this situation is telling. If I were a man, I’d say it was a deal breaker.

The only correct answer is to dismiss it as nothing. ‘Do not worry! It happens to everyone: we’re both nervous and just getting to know each other.’

Comments like: ‘This has never happened to me before. What is wrong with you?’ reveal an unrealistic, rigid expectation of sex – and a very unattractive nasty streak.

Tracey’s two product ranges, Tracey Cox Supersex and Edge, are available from lovehoney.co.uk (or the lovehoney website in your country). Visit traceycox.com for her podcast, blog and book details.