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All Creatures Great And Small review: Ignore the sentimental joke and enjoy TV’s most nostalgic show, writes CHRISTOPHER STEVENS

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All creatures, great and small

Judgement:

The Great British Sewing Bee: Celebrity Christmas Special

Judgement:

Anyone can play the piano, as Les Dawson used to say. It takes talent to play it badly.

Junior vet Richard Carmody (James Anthony-Rose) was bashing Tchaikovsky’s March Of The Toy Soldiers in three different keys at once, requiring both concentration and cloth ears, during the Christmas special of All Creatures Great And Small (Ch5).

“Will you stop that damn racket,” howled Siegried (Sam West, always fantastic). I felt like he was giving voice to the feelings of an entire nation that has been subjected to Jingle Bell Rock and Step Into Christmas for far too many weeks now.

All Creatures can claim to be the most diligently nostalgic show on TV. Even more so than Call The Midwife, it takes effort to recreate both the atmosphere and details of its time. Not only the clothing and cars, but also the tableware, decor, lighting and the carefully stratified social strata are reminiscent of the 1930s.

This makes it all the more striking when 21st century views impose themselves on the story. While her husband James was a trainee officer at a wartime RAF base, Helen Herriot (Rachel Shenton) didn’t expect alcohol.

While husband James was a trainee officer at a wartime RAF base, Helen Herriot (Rachel Shenton) was expecting her first baby.

She drank water in the pub, and Siegfried didn’t even offer her a sherry for a nightcap on Christmas Eve.

We may be dismayed to see a modern expectant mother drinking, but during World War II it was as natural as chain smoking – another historical trait that the characters quietly ditched.

James’s (Nicholas Ralph) behavior was even more discordant. As a student pilot, he was wary of being called “old man” by younger pilots.

“You know, I’m actually not that much older than you,” he complained.

For that generation, everyone was an ‘old man’, regardless of age. In any case, it’s bizarre to see our hero take umbrage at ‘micro-aggressions’ when he’s about to encounter anti-aircraft batteries and squadrons of Messerschmitts bent on carrying out maxi-aggressions.

What really tested credulity, however, was his decision to go AWOL after being denied Christmas leave.

Junior vet Richard Carmody (James Anthony-Rose, photo: right) basses Tchaikovsky's March Of The Toy Soldiers in three different keys simultaneously during the Christmas special of All Creatures Great And Small (Ch5)

Junior vet Richard Carmody (James Anthony-Rose, photo: right) basses Tchaikovsky’s March Of The Toy Soldiers in three different keys simultaneously during the Christmas special of All Creatures Great And Small (Ch5)

James (Nicholas Ralph), a student pilot, resented being called

James (Nicholas Ralph), a student pilot, resented being called “old man” by younger pilots

Such dereliction of duty should be unthinkable; his wife and friends would be shocked and disgusted, and he would face court-martial, prison, and even execution.

But rather than convict him, his martinet of a commanding officer saw the error of his own actions and granted the deserter a two-day home pass.

This sentimental nonsense belies the hard work of the props department and the customers.

Ultimately, we’ll just have to overlook it, like the wrong notes on the piano, because the fun of this series is Mrs. Hall (Anna Madeley) and Siegfried’s constant going around in circles. Will they ever swallow their pride and admit how much in love they are?

Props and costumes combined in a gloriously silly double act, as Ghosts star Kiell Smith-Bynoe presented The Great British Sewing Bee: Celebrity Christmas Special (BBC1).

Props and costumes combined in a gloriously silly double act, as Ghosts star Kiell Smith-Bynoe presented The Great British Sewing Bee: Celebrity Christmas Special (BBC1)

Props and costumes combined in a gloriously silly double act, as Ghosts star Kiell Smith-Bynoe presented The Great British Sewing Bee: Celebrity Christmas Special (BBC1)

Judges Patrick Grant and Esme Young set out sewing challenges including Christmas stockings lined with bells, and a transformation challenge involving turning puffer coats into giant sprouts and carrots.

The overall level may have been the lowest ever at the Bee, but singer Toyah Wilcox was fiercely competitive, so much so that she brought a photo of herself in her heyday wearing one of Esme’s Swanky Modes outfits on stage.

She also pulled out some fancy jewelry and casually mentioned that she wore it to lunch with Princess Di. How did Toyah become friends with Diana? It’s a mystery…

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