I’m mad because my friend doesn’t have bridesmaids at her wedding, even though she was one at mine

A woman has been labeled “self-centered” after she became upset that her friend didn’t want bridesmaids at her wedding.

The anonymous woman – who lives in the UK – increased Mumsnet to ask if she was being unreasonable.

She wrote: ‘Boy was my bridesmaid last year – I spent so much on my bridesmaids – dresses, hair and makeup, a bracelet etc.

“Friend got engaged two months ago. I asked her last night what she thinks about the wedding.

She said she wants a small wedding in Wales with only close family and friends and she’s not really thinking about having a bridesmaid as she’d rather cover the cost of Wales than spend on bridesmaid stuff.

“Am I unreasonable to be upset by this? I thought I’d be her maid of honor. I suppose I’ll at least be invited to the wedding in Wales, but I’m pretty upset.’

Other users responded to the comments to criticize the woman for being “self-centered,” with some calling her a “bridesmaid zilla.”

One user wrote, ‘It’s her day – isn’t it up to her what her priorities are when it comes to what she spends her money on?

“You sound composed, self-centered, and—quite frankly—not much of a friend. Her marriage isn’t about you.”

Another said, “You can’t be serious. If so, you need to stop and think. This is her wedding and she can do it however she (and her husband-to-be) wants.’

A third wrote, “She shouldn’t be forced to have things she doesn’t want at her wedding because of choices you made for your own wedding.

“You spent the money on her as a bridesmaid because that’s what you wanted for your own wedding. Give her the day she wants.’

A fourth commented, “Bridezillas are bad enough, but I can’t believe we moved to bridesmaid zillas.”

Another wrote something similar, saying, “Never heard of a Bridesmaidzilla before!”

After receiving comments from others that she was being unreasonable, the woman wrote on her own post saying, “Yes, I have a point about being unreasonable now.”

“I actually didn’t ask if I was invited last night when she mentioned close friends and family. I really hope I am.’

She also added, “She does have money – her partner is very well off.”

But others were more understanding of how the woman felt – one even said she would feel the same way.

One user wrote, “I think you’re pretty disappointed you won’t be her bridesmaid, but I think anything else is unreasonable.

“I understand the disappointment if it’s something you talk about growing up, but what you ‘intend’ as a child and teenager is very different from what you finally decide you would like when it comes down to it.”

Another said, “I totally understand how you feel because I know I would feel personally hurt if I wasn’t asked out given the friendship dynamic you’re describing.

“But a little time and perspective and you’ll see that it’s fine for her to make her own choices and you’ll no doubt become very happy for her, either way, once these feelings subside a bit.”

And if it helps you feel better – being a bridesmaid can be super stressful, even if the bride pays for everything etc.

‘You don’t have to wear a dress you would never choose yourself, you can stay where you want, arrive and leave when you want and just enjoy the day!’

A third wrote: ‘It wouldn’t occur to me to be upset by this. However, I just listened to a podcast about perception, so I can recognize that this really upset you.

“I’m not sure how you’ll get over it. Perhaps by looking at it from her perspective. I highly doubt she’s doing it to upset you.

“She cares about her wedding in a different way than you care about yours. Try to concentrate on that.’