Feeling trapped? Here are 5 ways to jump-start your life.

From the outside, it looked like Adam Alter was floating by.

By age 28, he had earned a doctorate in psychology from Princeton and soon after landed a job as a tenure-track professor at the NYU Stern School of Business.

But he felt stuck. Preparing to teach and conduct research at the same time became overwhelming, especially after just completing five intense years of graduate school. And although he was often surrounded by people in New York City, he missed a close network of friends.

He compared it to being stuck on a conveyor belt. “I was trying to make a career for myself,” he said, “but I wasn't sure if this was how I wanted to succeed.”

Dr. Alter, who has now been a professor for fifteen years, has devoted much of his career to researching the idea of ​​being stuck. In 2020, he surveyed hundreds of people on this topic, and every respondent said they felt stuck in at least one area: failed creative pursuits, stagnant careers, unfulfilling relationships, the inability to save money — the list went on.

Why we get stuck.

Getting into a rut or feeling stagnant from time to time is a universal experience, said Dr. Alter, whose latest book, “Anatomy of a Breakthrough,” offers a hundred ways to get out of trouble.

Why? When tackling any long-term goal, you will inevitably hit a plateau, he said. And because some goals don't have clear endpoints, it can be difficult to feel like you're making progress.

Other bottlenecks can arise from major life changes, such as illness, having a baby, moving or being fired. Dr. Alter found that people tend to be especially self-reflective as they approach a new decade, say at age 29 or 39, and that these turning points can feel overwhelming when life doesn't go as planned.

How to break free.

• Do a 'friction audit': The friction audit is one way organizations can root out areas of inefficiency. Individuals can apply the same principles to their own lives by identifying the things that create obstacles and cause complications or stress, said Dr. Alter.

  To start, try the following question: Am I repeating certain patterns that aren't helping? Are there certain things I do regularly that I don't enjoy? The next step is to cut or smooth out any friction points. Suppose you dread your commute, but feel powerless to change it. Dr. Alter suggested asking yourself, “What is the part that makes it the most unappealing?” What specific changes can you make to address the problem? Does it help to listen to a great podcast or audiobook? If you drive, can you start a carpool with other colleagues? Is there a way to work from home more often?

• Rephrase negative thoughts: Maybe you're catastrophizing, or thinking the worst will happen. Or maybe you're being too hard on yourself and have a case of “what should be,” as in, “I should have gotten more done at work,” even when you've accomplished a lot. Persistent thoughts like these can cause stress and hinder your goals, says Judy Ho, a clinical neuropsychologist and associate professor at Pepperdine University.

  Try to reframe your thinking, Dr. suggested. Whoa. For example, instead of “I'm going to fail at this project,” you might think, “I'm going to do my best, and if I'm struggling, I'll ask for help.” Finally, she said, try to evaluate your thoughts objectively: “That's me have this thought. What is the evidence for it? And what is the evidence against that?”

• Try 'futurecasting': “Imagine a future life where you are no longer stuck,” says Sarah Sarkis, a clinical psychologist and executive coach in Boston. How does it look? How do you feel?

  Then think about the specific steps that could help you move toward that vision. Write those steps down – ideally by hand. This helps us commit to this, said Dr. Sarkis. And don't wait until you feel “ready,” she added. Take at least one step every day if you can, but be kind to yourself if you can't. If you miss a day or two, just start again tomorrow. “Paint the future you want,” said Dr. Sarkis. “Make a plan to get there.”

• Share your goal: It can also be helpful to tell other people about your plans. Adam Cheyer, the co-creator of Siri and the vice president of AI Experience at Airbnb, has said this was crucial to his success. “Just the power of putting the words out into the world makes you believe – makes you commit,” he told an audience at the University of California, Berkeley. The added benefit is that people may want to help you. “Somehow the universe will help you achieve this goal,” he said. “It's been a huge, huge help to me.”

• Do something meaningful: Spending time on activities that align with your values ​​“will move you forward when you feel stuck in completely unrelated areas of your life,” said Dr. Alter. When he was feeling unmotivated early in his teaching career, he came across a poster at his gym: a group was looking for volunteers to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by participating in the New York City Marathon. It almost felt like fate, he said; one of his friends had died of leukemia years earlier. He ended up making several friends during the training. “I felt like a more productive person and it gave me confidence to tackle other areas of my life,” he said. “We need meaning more than ever when we feel stuck.”