My husband turned into a different person after a brain aneurysm, so I divorced him

A mother has been labeled “selfish” for divorcing her husband after he suffered a brain aneurysm that made him a “different person.”

Kim Beyer, 39, of Ohio, was married to the “wonderful” Matthias, 43, for ten years when he suffered a near-fatal brain aneurysm while on the job in 2015.

Electrical engineer Matthias was in a coma for 10 days and she was warned by doctors that he was unlikely to survive.

Although the mother-of-two was overjoyed when Matthias woke up from his coma, she said the aneurysm had turned him into a different person.

After struggling to communicate with him, the musician, who has two children with Matthias, has revealed that she told him she wanted a divorce last year.

Matthias was an exchange student in the US when he met Kim and the couple got married a year later.

Kim said, “Matthias was very bubbly, optimistic, a very warm person and everyone loved him.

“I fell in love with him because he was kind, honest and with integrity.

“Our relationship was great. We were both really invested and committed. We were happy.’

After sustaining the aneurysm, Matthias underwent surgery to remove part of his skull because his brain was so swollen it wouldn’t fit inside his head.

Miraculously, on the day the life support machine was to be turned off, Matthias began to show signs of consciousness.

Matthias suffered a brain aneurysm and received occupational therapy, speech therapy and physical therapy to try to regain his independence, while Kim took time off to care for him.

Kim said, “He wasn’t expected to live. I went into shock, felt like I was going through the motions.

“I still had to take care of children and eat. It was very bizarre and unreal and I almost didn’t believe I was in it.

“I was so excited when he woke up. We were excited. He worked very hard to become independent.’

However, Kim claims that communicating with him was difficult and he would become fixated on things that were insignificant.

She said, “After the aneurysm, my attention was always divided between his needs and those of the children.

“If he was having a bad day, he would struggle with things that don’t make sense, like a dirty rug, but there are more important things to take care of.

“He would get fixated. He was never angry or cruel. It’s not night and day, I know women whose husband had an aneurysm and got very angry, but that didn’t happen to him.

“Years went by when we could actually have a conversation.

‘He was here, but not really. Physically here but staring and oblivious to his surroundings.

“Last year I realized that our kids were getting the short end of the stick and weren’t getting the attention they needed. Matthias didn’t get the attention he needed, I was thin.

“It was very hard to accept that the marriage was over. We were married for 18 years, but I knew he wasn’t the same as before. I’ve been mourning the loss of our marriage for seven years.”

Matthias returned to his hometown of Germany in November and their divorce was finalized in May.

Kim said, “He’s lost the ability to express emotions, so it wasn’t a very emotional conversation when I told him I wanted a divorce.

“The reaction you would expect was not an exaggeration. I told him that this was not the end of our relationship but that the relationship was changing and it would become a friendship from now on.

“It was an emotional day when he left.”

Kim says she and Matthias’ families fully supported her decision to divorce him.

Kim decided to share her story on social media, where “mean” commenters labeled her “self-centered” for giving up on her wedding vows – but she said they can’t criticize because they don’t understand the situation.

One wrote: ‘Why get married? Why take the vow of “in sickness and in health” if you don’t mean it? Terrible people. You have to be there to the end. You promised it.’

Another said, “This is the most self-centered person ever.”

A third added, “What were her wedding vows?”

However, she claims the “most loving thing she could do” in the horrible situation was to “let him go” and divorce him – so they could then remain friends.

Kim said, “People who know us saw the situation, so they didn’t criticize us.

“The people who don’t know us have reacted badly. People online are pretty mean.

“People say I abandoned him, abandoned him when he needed us most which is ridiculous because he needed us most when he first woke up and we brought him back to a very independent state.

“People have said we should have moved to Germany with him, but the kids have been through so much so I’m not going to move them on top of that.

“To those who have reacted negatively, I hope it never happens to you because it’s horrible and you’re just doing your best.

“He had progressed to the point where we got him as far as we could go and he would need a different level of care.

“He has relatives who want to take care of him and Germany is great at taking care of people in a medical crisis. It was a practical decision.

“He hasn’t fully recovered yet, but he’s pretty independent now. He can walk unassisted and has significant speech delays in both languages.

“Mentally he is beautiful there, but he struggles with his memory. He’s doing very well.’