My partner won’t kiss me when I’m sick and upset, but people say I’m being ‘ridiculous’
A woman has sparked debate about hygiene in intimate relationships after complaining her boyfriend wouldn’t kiss her when she was sick.
The friend, believed to be from the US, explained further Reddit that she recently had a cold, but her boyfriend only wanted to hug her from behind because he didn’t want to catch her germs.
She asked if others thought this was ‘normal’ and said that in previous relationships she was still intimate with her partner while feeling ill.
Many people responded with their opinions to her question, although a few people called the friend “ridiculous” and said it was completely reasonable that her friend didn’t want to get sick.
The message read: ‘I recently came down with a bad cold and my boyfriend hasn’t done anything to me other than hug me from behind.
A woman revealed on Reddit that she finds it weird that her partner won’t kiss or do anything physical when she’s sick (stock image)
‘He said he doesn’t want to get sick and doesn’t know what I expect from him. Is this normal?
‘With all my past relationships, we still kissed and hugged despite being sick, so that’s just what I’m used to. What do normal people do?’
People were confused by the woman’s question, with the majority saying that “normal people” don’t deliberately go out of their way to get sick.
One person said: ‘Kissing when you’re sick is an absolute no. My fiancé and I don’t kiss when one of us is sick or feeling bad. It’s not about a lack of affection, but about respect for each other and not wanting to make each other sick.’
Another said: “I mean I definitely wouldn’t kiss them on the mouth at that point. And no, it is not abnormal to keep your distance from someone who is sick. I thought we had all learned this over the years.
“It really comes down to the fact that this is about personal boundaries.”
Someone else wrote: ‘That seems normal to me. It’s normal not to want to get sick. My husband and I tend to keep our distance when the other is sick.
On Reddit, the woman, believed to be from the US, explained that she recently came down with a cold, but her boyfriend only hugged her from behind because he didn’t want to get sick either
Many rushed to the comments, with some calling the woman “ridiculous” because it’s normal not to want to get sick
‘He gives me kisses on my forehead and that’s it. Same for me. I hate being sick and it’s tough financially when we have to call in to work.”
While a fourth agreed: ‘It’s… very normal not to want to get sick. When I’m sick, I don’t kiss him because I don’t want to make him sick. If we’re both symptomatic, let’s go for it.
‘But kissing with a runny nose is also quite annoying and it is completely fair that someone wants to avoid illness.’
Others even said they would even sleep in separate rooms if they were sick.
One person wrote: ‘No. And I don’t want them to kiss me because I don’t want them to get sick. Cheek or forehead is acceptable. If one of us is contagious, the other usually sleeps in another room.’
Another said: ‘My parents go on for 45 years and yes, if one of them is bothered by something they sleep in the guest room for a few days until it subsides. My dad doesn’t get sick often, but when he gets a cold or some other upper respiratory problem, he’s inactive for about two months to fully recover, so he avoids it like it’s the plague.
While others said they would even sleep in separate rooms if they were sick
‘And my mother doesn’t get sick that often either, but it’s just easier for her not to pass it on to father, or vice versa. And my husband and I look alike.
“If something bothers me, even if he has a bulletproof immune system, one or the other will sleep somewhere else and there won’t be much physical contact for a few days until the worst of it passes.”
Someone else said: ‘After 36 years of marriage we now live on the other side of the house when one of us feels ill. It functions.’
While others said they continue to kiss and cuddle when they are ill because it is ‘inevitable’ that they will pass this on to their partners if they live together.
While others said they continue to kiss and cuddle when they are sick because if they live together it is ‘inevitable’ that they will pass it on to their partners
One person revealed: ‘I live with my husband so we still kiss and hug when we’re gentle because we live together and if one is sick the other soon follows anyway.’
Another claimed: ‘I live with my girl and when she is sick I go and kiss her, hug her and love her. “I would probably rather die than see her get sick and I just sat there saying, ‘No, I’m not going to comfort you because I don’t want to get sick.'”
Someone else wrote: ‘When my partner is sick, she gets all the love, attention and affection she needs from me. That often includes a kiss and certainly always a hug.’