Woman, 37, whose mother was conceived in a secret lesbian self-insemination center in a London pub in the 1980s, makes a moving visit to the grave of her sperm donor father – who died a month before she was born
A woman who was conceived with the help of a sperm donor was left heartbroken after discovering her father had died before she was even born.
Marco Radley, 37, from Halifax, was raised by same-sex parents and always knew she was conceived by a donor.
She is one of many people searching for their long-lost relatives in a new ITV documentary, Born From the Same Stranger.
The existence of same-sex families in the 1970s and 1980s was largely frowned upon and Marco's parents felt they had no choice but to become pregnant through an underground lesbian self-insemination center in a London pub.
In an emotional episode, Marco's experience took a devastating turn when she found out her biological father died in 1987 – just a month before she was born.
37-year-old Marco Radley (pictured), from Halifax, discovered that her sperm donor had sadly passed away a month before her birth
Although Marco's parents believed her biological father had been a “prolific” donor, she discovered that she had four half-siblings, two of whom had been conceived during his marriage.
She continued, “His children speak so warmly of him, and he was a very smart man academically, and he really loved science… he was a doctor. The way he's described is quite quirky, quite funny.'
During the emotional episode, Marco and her mother also visited her father's final resting place.
As he carried flowers to the grave, Marco said: 'It's hard to imagine what this means to me, I now have an idea of who my donor was… it's really a big deal.'
Lynn observed the headstone and said, “1987, the end of his life and the beginning of yours.”
“It's like coming to say thank you very much,” Lynn added.
Early in the episode, Marco chatted with her mothers, Lynn and Kate, and learned of the hardships they endured to conceive.
“Even my parents, who considered themselves very liberal… told me not to have children because that would be a terrible and very selfish thing to do,” Kate recalled.
After Marco learned that her sperm donor had died, she traveled with her mother Lynn to his grave in Cambridge
Their family type was considered so unconventional that their family life was featured in a show. Pictured are Lynn (left) and Kate (right) in the documentary
Kate and Lynn didn't let the negative comments stop them and traveled to Cambridge to collect a sperm sample.
Details about the donor were scarce at the time, but they were assured of his location in Cambridge, his age and his negative HIV test.
After visiting a secret lesbian self-insemination center in a London pub called The Angel, Kate and Lynn became pregnant.
Marco was born in 1987. At the time, the family was considered so unconventional that they appeared in a special documentary revealing their family life during Marco's childhood.
“We were attacked as people, as parents, as families,” Kate recalls.
Kate and Lynn later separated, but they remain close and united to support their only daughter in her search for her father.
The next step in Marco's journey took her to a website about DNA ancestry. 'It's taken me a number of years to get to this point. I have no idea what's out there. “I have no idea what may or may not come my way, but I am open to exploring,” she said.
Lynn, Marco and Kate looked back on the past and watched a segment from a documentary they once showed in same-sex families
“The dream scenario for me is that I get an answer and someone can answer some questions and fill in the gaps,” she explained.
Initially, Marco suspected that her sperm donor might have donated to other lesbian families, meaning she might have half-siblings who grew up in similar circumstances to her.
But her findings revealed the exact opposite. Marco discovered that she has four half-siblings, two of which are from her sperm donor's own family.
“So there are two siblings who came from my donor's marriage, so children he fathered, if you will, and then two other half-siblings who were donors, fathered from heterosexual parents,” Marco told her mother Lynn.
Marco said: 'Given the information we thought we knew about his highly prolific nature in the gay community, this is the exact opposite of what I expected.'
“Suddenly I went from having a very small family to having an abundance of brothers and sisters,” she said.
“It never occurred to me that I would get to know my donor's own children,” she added.
In the 1970s and 1980s, same-sex families were publicly viewed negatively, forcing Lynn and Kate to become pregnant through an underground self-insemination clinic in a London pub. (Pictured is a newspaper clipping on the subject)
Marco's paternal half-siblings did not want to appear on camera, but answered all her questions. However, their conversations soon led to another surprising discovery.
“Unfortunately, I heard quite early that my donor had passed away,” Marco said.
She continued, “And one of the things that really shocked me was that he died in 1987, exactly the month before I was born.
“It came as a shock, but I wasn't sad, I didn't know him.”
Now, despite the surprising information about her donor's death, Marco has gained clarity, as she explained in the episode: “I don't feel like I have any questions anymore, I don't know how to describe that, but it feels Good.'