You have been accepted? Not based on this evidence! After Edam made a mess of their cheesecake challenge, week two of The Apprentice proved this year's contestants are still the dumbest yet, writes JAMES WALTON
Reviewing the first episode of this year's The Apprentice (BBC1) last week, Christopher Stevens suggested here that the class of 2024 might be the dumbest ever. I'm pretty sure tonight's second episode wouldn't have changed his mind.
This week's task was based on what Lord Sugar™ rather implausibly claimed was 'one of the biggest trends' in Britain today: the unstoppable rise of the mini cheesecake. Each team had to make two batches, one to sell to a corporate customer, the other to the general public – with the team that made the biggest profit being the winners.
For a while the girls got a little bogged down in the argument about how many grams are in a kilogram. But having worked that out, they headed off to meet their customers in London Dungeon, where they managed to negotiate a suitably gruesome price of £13.80 per small pie, promising (not entirely truthfully) that the end result would be worth the effort. would be worth.
Less successful were the boys, whose business clients included the smoothie company Innocent. Innocent's commitment to healthy eating – not a big secret, by any means – was hard to miss from the fruit and vegetable-related decorations that adorned almost every inch of their headquarters. Nevertheless, the boys' chief negotiator, Paul, missed it and recommended something more chocolatey instead.
“We don't want chocolate,” said the customers – and said it again when Paul scorned the whole silly 'five a day' thing and urged them to indulge in some pampering.
This week's task was based on what Lord Sugar™ rather implausibly claimed was 'one of the biggest trends' in Britain today: the unstoppable rise of the mini cheesecake
Each team had to make two batches, one to sell to a corporate customer, the other to the general public – with the team that made the biggest profit being the winners
For a while the girls got a little bogged down in the argument about how many grams are in a kilogram
Only after three rejections was he willing to compromise – by offering them chocolate[itals] fruit. Meanwhile, his original price of £9.95 per pie was casually discarded in favor of £6.
Not that Paul appeared to be completely devoid of self-knowledge. After the meeting, which his teammates accurately described as “a car crash,” he admitted that “there may have been some things I hadn't noticed.”
And with that, the boys set out to make their fruit and vegetable cheesecakes, with dragon fruit, apricot and, er, avocado. These were also so misshapen that the team decided it was best to call them 'artisan'.
Strangely enough, the people at Innocent were not impressed. “Avocado seems a bit strange,” one person said with commendable understatement. “It's an acquired taste,” Asif replied on behalf of the boys – the problem was that the customers showed no signs of acquiring it and drove the price down even further.
But at least the boys' sales to the public went slightly better, with the cakes sold in a pop-up cafe for £6, £6.50 or £7, depending on which team member sold them and when. The only problem came when a customer said she was a vegetarian and so couldn't eat the gelatin. At that moment she was offered the cake for a fiver.
Each team had to make two batches, one to sell to a corporate customer, the other to the general public – with the team that made the biggest profit being the winners
Once again, Tim Campbell MBE stuck to his policy of helping us understand exactly what happened, by repeating exactly what we had just seen happen.
Compared to all that, the girls did indeed seem like members of Mensa. Yet their victory was almost as easy as the chores performed by Lord Sugar's two assistants.
Once again, all Baroness Karen Brady had to do was lurk and raise an eyebrow every now and then.
Once again, Tim Campbell MBE stuck to his policy of helping us understand exactly what happened, by repeating exactly what we had just seen happen.
And so to the boardroom, where the girls beamed and the boys threw each other under Tooting's number 94.
To his credit, Lord Sugar did a pretty good job of pretending to be concerned about who should be fired.
But of course it wasn't long before Paul was sitting in the back of the cab wishing he hadn't spent so much time 'talking about chocolate'.
To his credit, Lord Sugar did a pretty good job of pretending to be concerned about who should be fired
It wasn't long before Paul was sitting in the back of the taxi wishing he hadn't spent so much time 'talking about chocolate'
THE STUDENT 2024: MEET THE CANDIDATES
Amina Khan
Occupation: Pharmacist and entrepreneur
Place: Ilford
Amina has been a qualified pharmacist for over ten years and in that time she has built a successful skin care and supplement business.
Flo Edwards
Occupation: Recruitment Consultant
Place: London
Flo revealed she had started her own consultancy, leaving her ready to take on Lord Sugar.
Foluso Falade
Occupation: Project Manager
Place: Manchester
Foluso bills herself as the 'Mary Poppins of business' and revealed her aim is to run the first social enterprise to secure Lord Sugar's investment.
Maura Rath
Occupation: Owner, yoga company
Place: Wexford
Maura incorporates the advantage of being a yoga teacher into her appearance.
Noor Bouziane
Occupation: Owner, Jewelry Company
Place: Liverpool
Ambitious premium jewelry company owner Noor claimed that she will generate a wealth of money for Lord Sugar thanks to the uniqueness of her business.
Onyeka Nweze
Occupation: Chartered Company Secretary
Place: London
Onyeka revealed that her plan will be Lord Sugar's first technology business investment in eighteen series.
Rachel Woolford
Occupation: Owner of boutique fitness studio
Place: Leeds
Rachel has been business-minded from a very young age and has extensive experience in managing her work independently. In addition to her hard work in the office, she also shares her fitness successes on social media, including running the New York Marathon in 2019.
Raj Chohan
Occupation: Mortgage broker
Place: Leamington Spa
Raj admits that even though she's a creep, she's determined to have fun while working, as illustrated on her fun Instagram account. As a self-proclaimed 'dog with a bone', she wants to make a gap in the market in achieving her goals and will do whatever it takes for success.
Sam Saadet
Occupation: Pre- and postnatal fitness coach
Place: Essex
Sam revealed that her friends call her a real Del Boy because of her “part-wheeler dealer” and her eye for a bargain. She is an online fitness coach with a focus on mothers and expectant mothers and hopes to prove her business brains to Lord Sugar.
Dr. Asif Munaf
Occupation: Owner, Wellness Brand
Place: Sheffield
Asif boldly describes himself as 'Beauty, Brains, Body and Business' on his CV. The qualified doctor's business plan focuses on vitamins and supplements.
Jack Davis
Occupation: Director of Recruitment
Place: Bristol
In addition to his work as a recruitment director, Jack also acts as a food critic, making him ready for challenges with diverse knowledge and skills.
Oliver Medforth
Occupation: Sales Director
Place: Yorkshire
Oliver's background in market selling means he is looking forward to familiar sales tasks. He is often seen plugging his wares on social media, especially his gin range.
Paul Bowen
Occupation: Director Pie Company
Place: Lancashire
As one of two cake company experts taking part in the trial, Paul takes pride in serving major clients such as Manchester City Football Club.
Dr. Paul Midha
Occupation: Owner Dental Group
Place: Leeds
Paul started his practice using whatever resources he had. Paul is used to learning extensively through his studies as a dentist and is convinced of Lord Sugar's investment and everything he can teach him about the business world.
Phil Turner
Occupation: Owner Pie Company
Place: Bognor Regis
Phil was named 'Supreme Pie Champion' in 2020 for his family pie business, which dates back to the 1930s. He hopes to prove himself to Lord Sugar and start making real money for him.
Steve Dark
Occupation: Management advisor
Place: London
Steve claims he shares Lord Sugar's sharp mind and sense of humor. As an advisor to 'some of the largest companies in the world', he is ready to take on the boardroom.
Tre Lowe
Occupation: Music and wellness entrepreneur
Place: London
Tre has had his previous taste of fame, including in the British garage band called Architechs. His Instagram account is a who's who of the showbiz world, including photos with Simon Cowell and Emily Ratajkowski.
Virdi Singh Mazaria
Occupation: Music producer
Place: Leicester
DJ Virdi wants to introduce Lord Sugar to the world he has yet to invest in: music. His life is certainly filled with luxury as he regularly shares photos on flash vacations and in front of expensive cars.