A former royal butler shares insider tips for getting YOUR summer party etiquette correct

A summer party doesn’t have to be hard work, even if you choose to add some formal touches.

According to butler Grant Harrold, who spent many years with the Royal Family, the basic rules are quite simple.

Did you know that there is a specific way to place your napkins, for example? Or whether or not you should raise your little finger when holding a teacup?

With these tips and tricks, all guests will know exactly where they stand now that the summer dining season has arrived:

1. How to place your napkins

If you’re going to be serving food at your summer party, napkins are a must.

The Royal Butler said there is a specific way to lay napkins that is true to royal etiquette.

The first thing to keep in mind is that napkins should be folded in half. But there is a catch. The pleat should be facing the gentleman and away from the lady.

‘That’s because women traditionally apply lipstick. By folding the napkins in a certain way, they can lift a corner, dab their lips and then put the napkin back down to hide their lipstick stain.”

2. How shall we snack?

“Dishes and snacks are allowed on a royal couch,” says Grant. This is great news for holidays, as your guests can enjoy ‘fussy bits’ fit for royalty in true British style.

While bowl food and nibbles are a good choice for snacking, the Royal Butler says to take care not to make a mess and watch out for crumbs!

3. Little finger or no little finger? That is the question

The tradition of sticking out your little finger while drinking tea or coffee is a common practice that many people associate with proper etiquette.

However, the Royal Butler sheds light on the true origins of this tradition.

“Holding a little finger is a myth,” he says, “it goes back to the days when cups didn’t have ears. I tell people who do that that they don’t test the wind direction, but enjoy a cup of tea or coffee.’

So you don’t have to stick out your little finger while drinking tea during the summer holidays!

4. How should guests sit on the couch?

Sitting on the couch like royalty is no easy task, says the Royal Butler.

“Before sitting down, use your calves to gently touch the front of the bench. This will ensure that you are in the correct position to gracefully sit down, and also help prevent accidental missteps.

“When you sit down on the couch, make sure you keep your back straight and your posture upright. Once you are seated, you can raise yourself up a bit and push yourself back onto the bench to achieve a comfortable and relaxed position.

“Try not to cross your legs while sitting on the couch, unless it’s a less formal event.”

“If possible, limit the number of people sitting on the couch to two. As the Royal Butler says, “two is company, three is a crowd.”

He added: ‘When it comes to handbags and accessories, make sure they don’t create unnecessary clutter. Put handbags on the floor and if you want to keep a small bag with you, consider putting it behind your back or on your lap.”

5. What time should guests arrive?

According to the Royal Butler, your guests must arrive exactly at the specified time. However, in some cases a delay of up to ten minutes may be acceptable.

“If your guests are coming in late, they should let you know ahead of time,” says Grant.

Grant Harrold spoke in collaboration with Delcorthe British furniture maker