JAN MOIR: William, Harry and Andrew need to remember that having Prince in front of your name comes with more responsibilities, not less

Prince William, Prince Harry, Prince Andrew. As time goes by, they present themselves not quite as the Three Wise Men of royal life, but increasingly as the Huey, Dewey and Louie of some grim antics; the imperial Bee Gees with an eternal reprise, jive talkers just trying to stay alive in a world they find increasingly hostile.

Two estranged brothers and a disgraced uncle scavenge for leftovers at the royal banquet. With the best will in the world, they’re not exactly an inspiring couple, are they?

Call it what you will, but gold is slowly starting to break away from this soured game of thrones, this line of succession in a terminal recession. Every now and then the three masks slip and we see these princes for who and what they really are: a trio of spoiled man-children who demand responsibility from everyone else while doing as they please, an unholy trinity that is still not quite is capable of believing that the age of reverence is over.

Prince William is by far the best of them, not least because the burden of royal responsibility must rest on his shoulders. In his rather passive-aggressive way, he has never made any secret of the fact that he finds this a tough task, but who can blame him for worrying or seeing his birthright as a velvet band?

While his stricken father and recovering wife remain out of the spotlight, this is William’s moment of truth. But instead of rising to the challenge, he seems to be everywhere. To start with, that ill-advised statement about the conflict between Israel and Hamas; now blow up a royal event at short notice and without a proper explanation?

It’s all very strange. If William has a good reason for his absence, he should tell us or even give us a reassuring hint; the audience would understand and sympathize. Of course he has the right to a private life, but he is not a movie star who barks about privacy in times of crisis. He is the heir to the British throne – a man with a unique set of public responsibilities.

Soon he will be the head of the nation, a focus for national identity, unity and pride. So maybe he should stop acting like a celebrity and reign in that impenetrable attitude, along with his indulgent penchant for obsessive secrecy. If this is a sign of what will happen when he takes the throne, it is very worrying.

Then there’s Prince Andrew, who seizes the opportunity to insert himself, like a festering suppository, back into the pantomime ass end of royal life.

The sight of cheerful Andrew galloping into King Constantine’s memorial service in Windsor with all the seriousness of a game show host was as unwelcome as it was unedifying.

Andrew has no shame, because if he did, he would hide himself from public life forever. He would focus on his golf swing, his chronic problem with adrenaline deficiency and his research into sweat patterns, rather than impose his eerie, scandal-smoked presence on the royal family.

That would be the decent thing to do, but decency and Andrew are strangers to each other.

This week, court documents revealed that Prince Harry, pictured last month on a ski trip with Meghan in Canada, demanded the identity of the person in the government responsible for downgrading his police protection.

Prince William is by far the best of them, not least because the burden of royal responsibility must rest on his shoulders

Which brings us to the clown known as Prince Harry. Court documents revealed this week that he demanded to know the identity of the person in the government responsible for downgrading his police protection.

“I’d like that person’s name,” he said, much in Tony Soprano fashion, perhaps in dream sequence ruff and tights, putting pressure on Paulie Walnuts.

What was Harry going to do? Was this person taken to his royal chambers in a tumbler and then tortured by having to listen to Meghan’s latest podcast about compassion in action?

Watch as Harry the Beagle prepares to deliver a proverbial knuckle sandwich to the upstart serf who refused to provide the security details he demanded. How utterly pathetic has this despicable fool become; a man who positions himself in public life as a glossy humanitarian, but in private will thwart anyone who dares to cross him or deny his desires.

‘Show Up, Do Good’ is the tacky motto on the Sussexes’ rebooted Archewell website. “Shut up, do as I say” would be a more honest and appropriate slogan.

Listen, guys. It’s not too late to learn that having the word “Prince” in front of your name isn’t just a passport to a blackout in the bulletins when the going gets tough, a free pass to the fleshpot island of a known sex abuser, or a fast track to celebrities and millions of fancy Hollywood dollars – although clearly it has been all of these things and more.

Put the word Prince first if your name carries more responsibilities, not less. And you would do us all a favor – and at the same time honor the memory of Queen Elizabeth, your loving grandmother and mother – if you would remember that every now and then.