JENNI MURRAY: Charming, funny, cool. Fergie doesn't deserve to be cheated on

What kind of vile creature lurks behind their laptop writing horrible things about a woman who has just been dealt the worst possible hand that any of us can imagine?

The nasty, insulting trolls are out to target Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York – affectionately known as Fergie – who is recovering from breast cancer and announced this week that she has also been diagnosed with malignant melanoma, an aggressive form of skin cancer. It's especially hard for her because it's the form of cancer her father was diagnosed with months before his death.

Her friends say she is cheerful and resilient, which doesn't surprise me at all. It's what I noticed in 1989 when I went to interview her in her surprisingly small flat in Buckingham Palace. My Woman's Hour team and I were a bit startled when she burst into the sitting room where we were waiting.

We wondered if maybe she was the cleaning lady and not a princess. The glorious mass of red hair was tied up under a mop cap. A favorite T-shirt was worn over stretchy jeans and she wore slippers. No attempt was made to impress and her welcome was warm and friendly. I liked her immediately.

A year after the birth of her first child, Beatrice, we talked about her new children's book, Budgie, The Little Helicopter. The inspiration for her character was, of course, her husband. Prince Andrew was hugely admired for his efforts as a Royal Navy helicopter pilot during the Falklands War. At age thirty, she clearly adored and admired the man she called “My Handsome Prince.”

Even this early in the marriage, it became clear that things might not go as well as she had hoped. She was criticized for traveling to Australia in 1988 and leaving a young Bea at home. She clearly wanted to spend as much uninterrupted time with her husband as possible. “After all,” she said, “we only get to spend about forty days a year together because of his naval duties. I like to spend as much time with him as possible and keep an eye on what he's up to.'

Back then, long before stories of his friendships with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell surfaced, I couldn't help but think, “I bet she does.” We talked about Princess Diana, then 28, and how the two of them dealt with being at the forefront of the royal family and constantly in the public eye.

The only way they could make it work, she told me, was to become good friends. They loved to dress up and go into town together, sometimes a little naughty, but generally well behaved. It was not good to attract bad publicity that would discredit the Crown.

She recognized that Diana was number 1 with the public and was beautiful and popular. She hinted at her disappointment at not being able to keep up, but there was no sign of pain from the insults she sometimes received about her weight and behavior.

She certainly received more than her share of criticism.

During a visit to California she was described as brash, vulgar and outrageous. At home in the late 1980s she was 'the Duchess of Pork' and 'Fat Fergie', insults she was well aware of but did her best to laugh at. I thought she was extremely charming, friendly, unpretentious, funny and cool – and, oh my god, she should have been.

By 1992, she and her husband had separated. They divorced in 1996 – just ten years after the big wedding at Westminster Abbey. I am sure that the behavioral requirements for a 20th century royal were simply too restrictive for young women like Diana and Sarah.

In 1997, Diana's life ended tragically and too soon. Sarah had to learn how to live a new life on her own and there were times when the devoted mother, loyal ex-wife and duchess who stayed on the fringes of the royal family messed up.

There was Texas billionaire Steve Wyatt, who she reportedly fell in love with while still married to Andrew. Then came American financial advisor John Bryan and the infamous toe-sucking incident when Sarah was sunbathing topless in 1992. More than a decade later, she claimed she was tricked by an undercover reporter into offering her husband access in exchange for huge sums and money. managed to rack up enormous debts despite her attempts to make money as a writer, film producer, and TV and radio personality. And in 2012, she apologized for taking money from Epstein, calling it “a gigantic error in judgment.”

But despite all the difficulties her former husband continues to face, she has remained faithful to him and has often shared his Windsor residence. She has raised two daughters who, like her, have been victims of insults and trolls, but both appear to be happily married and Sarah is now a grandmother of three.

At Christmas, when she was invited to Sandringham for the first time in years, there were indications that she was being welcomed back. She should be. All I remember of her was a warm, friendly average Joe who had caught the eye of the second son of the royal family. Sarah fell in love, didn't fit in, but did her best to be charitable, do good work and earn a living.

I admire her, hope she gets the best treatment for the sudden health diagnosis and can recover. So fire Fergie – and good luck to her.

How to ruin your daughter's 18th

It was Amanda Holden's daughter Lexi's 18th birthday party, but who was dancing around doing some ostentatious mom dancing? Amanda of course. No mother should try to outdo her daughter on her special day. It's all about her, Amanda, not you.

Schiaparelli is still shocking

As a child, I would sneak into my mother's bedroom to smell her favorite perfume: Shocking by Schiaparelli. I loved it. Now I see that the fashion house can still attract attention. J-Lo wore a white jacket made entirely of real white rose petals: Shocking! Unlike my mother's perfume, I doubt it will last long.

• I am finally home. No more recovering from a broken vertebra and pneumonia in a nursing home, while talking to amazing women in their 90s. Now my companion is the wildly excited and affectionate Suu, the cat. We took the dogs home on Saturday and life seems complete again.

Abortion legislation is not fit for purpose

It is often said that abortion was legalized in 1967, but that is not entirely true. The general ban on terminating a pregnancy was relaxed and it became legal for a woman to have an abortion up to 28 weeks' gestation with the consent of two doctors – but that is not the same as legalized.

Numerous attempts have been made to lower the time limit. This is now at 24 weeks. Although the numbers are small, more and more women are being prosecuted.

Last year, Carla Foster, who suffered a stillbirth after taking abortion pills at home late in her pregnancy, was sentenced to more than two years in prison – later successfully appealed – under the Offenses Against the Person Act 1861 completely separate law. of the Abortion Act, which makes it a criminal offense for a woman to 'cause a miscarriage'.

This month, Bethany Cox, 22, was found not guilty of using drugs to procure an illegal abortion. This year, three more women accused of illegal abortions will appear in court.

This has led to the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists telling its members not to report women to the police if they believe they have illegally terminated their pregnancies. This is not enough.

The laws of 1861 and 1967 must be repealed. A fetus develops inside a woman. It should be her choice, and not that of two doctors, to decide to quit.

It is she who will be left to care for an unwanted child. The law must change.