Children should be banned from pubs. I’m a mother, but loud brats are not welcome
WRITER and mother of two explains why stray children are ruining the dining out experience for adults.
As a parent with two young children, I have had to accept that some things in life are no longer for me: a full night’s sleep, going to the bathroom alone and, unfortunately, eating in a restaurant.
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Pre-kids, my husband and I loved nothing more than dining at our local Italian, or enjoying a roast and a glass of wine in a cozy country pub on a Sunday afternoon.
The only thing that ruined these experiences was the deafening screams of children left to fend for themselves by lazy parents who treated these places like a giant soft play.
I live in Worcester with my husband and our children, aged five and two.
Now that I’m a parent myself, I know that climbing on furniture and the urge to run instead of walk is second nature to little ones.
That’s why they simply don’t belong in restaurants.
Like a bottle of red wine followed by a round of tequila slammers, the two don’t mix.
When I heard about the couple whose first date was ruined by a family who inexplicably chose Valentine’s Day to take their baby and six-year-old out to dinner, I wasn’t the least bit surprised.
The baby screamed its head off as the little girl ran around and waved her long hair during the shocked guests’ meals.
Meanwhile, Mom and Dad were no doubt looking into each other’s eyes and enjoying a night off from parenting, while everyone else’s night was ruined.
‘Allowed to run amok like a mini bachelor party’
Today, a growing number of parents believe that as soon as they set foot in a cafe or restaurant, their role as guardian no longer exists.
They feel like they can relax over dinner or drinks, while staff and fellow customers become improvised babysitters.
It’s as if they find their little angels so delightful that we should all experience the joy of raising them.
Well, they couldn’t have been more wrong.
My child-free trips to pubs and restaurants are now rare and precious.
That means I don’t want them marred by out-of-control kids who, high on a cocktail of ketchup, ice cream and half-drunk Fruit Shoots, are allowed to run around their house like a mini bachelor party on their first night. Magaluf.
The debate about banning children from drinking establishments has been raging for years.
Since 1995, children under 14 have been legally allowed in pubs.
But entitled parents still act as if there is a violation of the Geneva Conventions when anyone dares to suggest that a place designed for drinking alcohol should not welcome their offspring with open arms.
As businesses reopened in the wake of Covid, dozens of pubs came under fire for banning children, after customers complained of children giddily racing from table to table and ignoring social distancing rules as if they were at a Number 10 party.
When a landlady banned children from her 500-year-old liquor, hundreds of parents took to Tripadvisor in protest.
Well, I think she was absolutely right.
Almost as bad as the parents of children who are allowed to run rampant through restaurants are the ones who smugly plop their children in front of a tablet or smartphone while blaring cartoons at full volume, then ignore them for the next two hours.
I love Bluey as much as the next person, but I don’t want to hear it from three tables away while I’m finally enjoying a meal I didn’t have to cook, thank you.
When a London pub last week canceled the booking of a family where there were more children than adults, outraged parents shouted about the fate of those who had “no choice” but to bring children.
Newsflash: You don’t have to take your kids to the pub.
It’s not school.
Years ago I worked in pubs and restaurants and the worst part was always the families who thought the world revolved around them.
‘Dirty diaper changed on restaurant floor’
I shuddered when I heard about the mother who expected the restaurant staff to happily care for her toddler while she smoked a cigarette outside — and then was in disbelief that they weren’t thrilled with the opportunity she presented.
I still remember my own horror stories: the mother who changed her baby’s diaper on the restaurant floor between courses, the family who brought home-cooked food for us to serve to their fussy ten-year-old, and the time a colleague was rushed to the emergency room with burns.
She ended up carrying a lasagna after an out-of-control child bumped into her.
The pro-kids in pubs and restaurants brigade like to shout that they are just trying to help an industry that is already on its knees.
Yes, the British Beer and Pub Association reports that more than 750 pubs are expected to close in the first half of 2024 alone.
But institutions that have already imposed a ban on children are reaping the benefits.
Gamblers who aren’t desperate to escape the whining of wild toddlers are staying longer and spending more.
When the government banned smoking in the workplace in 2007 (in Scotland in 2006), there was outrage: how would pubs survive?
But we all soon realized that it was actually kind of nice not to smell like an ashtray the next day.
If children were banned from pubs I’m sure it would be met with the same initial anger.
But we quickly got used to being able to enjoy a drink in an adults-only environment without the fear of tripping over a Squishmallow on the way out.
‘Please cut us parents some slack’
SAMANTHA Yule, 49, a writer from Leeds, lives with her mortgage adviser husband Scott, 48, and their sons Max, 14, and Rufus, ten.
She says:
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Parents know that going to restaurants with children can be a nightmare.
I’m always armed with a bag full of entertainment, just in case boredom strikes.
But even with that, it’s not an easy task.
I wouldn’t say my kids have been naughty over the years, but maybe a little loud and very squirmy, so we’ve gotten a few scathing comments.
I was once at a restaurant for a family birthday when my oldest was just one.
The lady at the next table was very offended by the mess my child was making – so I told her to mind her own business.
Another time when I was having lunch with a friend I was told by the staff that my son’s iPad was too loud when firstly it wasn’t loud, and secondly there was only one other gambler in the room, which was not near us.
I’ve never been there again.
And my youngest son was once scolded by a cafe owner for being too loud when he refused to share his can of soda with his brother.
‘It’s not your place to tell my child’
So I was furious, because I thought it wasn’t this person’s place to tell my child.
I already had to deal with the situation myself.
These hurtful attacks made me feel bad about my parenting, even though I had done nothing wrong.
Children are part of life, they are part of our families and are an important part of the world we live in.
To think that children should be seen and not heard is outdated and impossible.
It’s wonderful when our children are involved in family events, and they often bring laughter and wonderful memories to an event.
Parents can’t always get childcare, but as crazy as it may sound, we love our children and want them to share experiences with us.
Any responsible parent will do their best to ensure that their children behave.
It helps to adjust the timing of dinner around usual meal times, and to make sure you don’t overstay your time.
I don’t want anyone else’s dining experience to be miserable, but I also don’t want mine to be miserable or my kids to be unhappy.
So when kids do start playing, try cutting the parents some slack.
The world is not there for the judgmental people among us to claim for themselves.
Families pay for their meals and therefore have the right to eat together with the masses.
Before anyone judges, they should remember that they were once children too.
Moreover, I know many adults who are not as well behaved as my children.