I’m not a prude, but Naked Attraction makes me sick… says Vanessa Feltz

I’m NOT squeamish, but when I’m unlucky enough to come across Naked Attraction, I reach for the remote. . . and the sick bucket.

The dating show is back on our screens this week and seems to be satisfying some sort of public need to see freshly served private parts.

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For the uninitiated, it works like this: a man or woman (fully clothed) chooses from six naked hopefuls hidden in different colored pods.

In the first round, the screens of the pods are raised to reveal the participants’ underworld. Then one is eliminated based purely on their attractiveness from the waist down.

And so it continues until the final round, in which the picker – now also naked – makes his or her choice.

Talk about putting the cart before the horse!

Back in 2016, when the Channel 4 show launched, I was as curious as anyone else.

I had a feeling I wouldn’t mind having a voyeuristic butcher’s hook on this daring new show.

But I immediately felt quite nauseous. The whole premise made me wonder: whatever happened to romance?

Whatever happened to the flutter of an eyelash, an enigmatic smile or the smell of someone’s wonderful cologne?

What about the value of whispered conversations, sending someone a mixtape, or liking the look of the book they’re reading on the train?

Flirt with pornography

With Naked Attraction, all those seductive, romantic things that are often the trigger for a relationship are put aside.

Instead, we’re left with, “Here are my genitals, let’s get out of here.”

It lacks finesse, romance and subtlety. It even lacks suspense and adventure because it ties right into it the chase – and you watch the chase and you think, “Eurgh, I wouldn’t want to chase that in a million years.”

Of course I understand why it’s popular. It’s been running for eight years, so something must be going right.

Mostly it has to do with the shock factor.

There’s a real element of surprise when someone looks quite demure but has something slightly bizarre tattooed in their nether regions.

At the other end of the spectrum was Kieran, whose so-called ‘micro-penis’ shocked host Anna Richardson.

Maybe someone looks awfully neat, but has a vajazzle like a Union Jack.

Or maybe a man is very big, but less so down there.

On the other hand, while a large appendage is guaranteed to make viewers gasp, it doesn’t guarantee matchmaking glory. One man named Ozzy was turned away after the picker decided his package was “too big.”

At the other end of the spectrum was Kieran, whose so-called ‘micro-penis’ shocked host Anna Richardson.

My problem is that the program reduces people to their genitals, and we are so much more than that.

Nothing is left to the imagination. And that’s a shame, because when a man in a nice tuxedo walks into a room, I immediately find him handsome and desirable.

It reminds me of suave movie stars like Omar Sharif and George Clooney, and I can’t help but think, “Oh yeah, you’re perfect for me.”

That wouldn’t be the case if I was just staring at his genitals.

I remember once meeting a man at an evening party and he was wearing a beautiful tuxedo. The next one The time I went out with him he was wearing an apricot-colored Aertex shirt.

What a crushing disappointment that was. The problem is that television has to be increasingly shocking to attract viewers.

Some have suggested that online porn is to blame. I wouldn’t know, because my flirtation with pornography ended in 1974 with Confessions Of A Window Cleaner.

Victorian freak show

Sure, Naked Attraction isn’t nearly as extreme as what’s available on your smartphone, but it’s a far cry from the golden years of dating shows.

At first, Blind Date’s gentle innocence was sufficient. As the couple left on their date, viewers were pleased to know if they had shared a clandestine kiss.

But along came reality TV and shows like Love Island and Married At First Sight, and we were presented with increasingly explicit content to create that all-important water cooler moment.

It’s no surprise to me that according to Google, there are still a large number of two couples from the entire history of Naked Attraction together.

People of my generation never thought in a million years that you would see male todgers on TV. So it’s a reliable way to captivate an audience, and the show, which started its twelfth series last night, continues to attract more than a million viewers every week.

I’m not knocking it.

It’s open and honest and makes no difference – or even anything – about what it’s trying to achieve. But a person’s individual body parts reveal nothing about their personality, especially when they are visually separate from that person’s body and face.

It is no surprise to me that according to Google, the large amount of two couples of the whole are still together history of naked attraction.

However, if there’s one positive thing to say about the program, it’s that it’s a break from the unattainable bodies we see in magazines and social media.

It’s the modern equivalent of a Victorian freak show, where you stare at the bearded lady.

Instead of feeling bad about yourself when you watch it, you’re much more likely to feel sorry for the people actually in it.

And it looks like I’m not alone, as 74 percent of readers told a Sun survey last year that you couldn’t pay them to participate. I’m not one of those voyeurs watches Naked attraction faithfully, or even secretly, hoping to see as many misshapen periwinkles and pierced foo-foos as possible.

I’m that person who, if it happens to come on TV, I look for the remote and change the channel.

But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with someone interacting with it or watching it. If anyone wants to parade their genitals on TV, good luck.

Disliking the show doesn’t make me a prude and I don’t think Naked Attraction is immoral.

Anna Richardson is a very good presenter and a pleasure to watch and listen to. It’s also slickly produced, fast and well put together.

So if you like it, I don’t mind it at all.

If I were asked, I would turn them down

But when you walk down the street, would you really like to see everyone’s genitals and whether they are big or small, or pierced or not?

My answer is: I really wouldn’t.

I’m not against nudity either. As my kids will tell you, I’m laissez-faire, and if someone wants to take off their clothes in front of other people who also want to take off their clothes, that’s fine.

I would feel guilty if I said no, sad if I deprived the nation of such a glorious, beautiful view!

Every now and then, a celebrity version of Naked Attraction is suggested.

According to host Anna, Duncan James once told her he would be willing to show his bits on screen if the call came.

If they asked me to appear with regret, I would have to turn them down.

I am a grandmother and a political commentator who has interviewed the Prime Minister.

But I would feel guilty if I said no, sad if I deprived the nation of such a glorious, beautiful view!

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