Parenting Expert Reveals Proven Discipline Hack That ‘De-escalates’ Tempers in Kids of ALL Ages – Even Teens

A parenting expert has revealed her clever discipline hack that ‘deescalates the mood’ and works for children of all ages – especially teenagers.

Nik Bowers, an author and former principal based in Texas, has worked with students from kindergarten through college for more than twenty years and specializes in middle school teaching.

The mother of two daughters talks about her experiences and shares parenting advice on TikTok, where she has more than 11,000 followers.

Bowers recently detailed her proven technique for disciplining children, putting them in control of their punishment.

In a recent TikTok video, the Texas mom described her tried-and-true discipline hack that works with kids of all ages

“You’ll love this parenting hack, and you’ll have to keep it. “No matter how old your kids are, this will work,” she began her nearly minute-long video.

Bowers advised against meting out punishment in the heat of the moment because it can cause anger and resentment.

She said the first thing to do when disciplining your child is to “pause, step back and think about it.”

“Then you actually give them a choice in the consequences,” she explained before listing some examples.

“You can say, ‘Well, do you want to do four hours of DIY or lose your driving privileges? Do you want to miss this party or do you want to get rid of technology for a weekend?’

Bowers noted that when you give your child a choice about consequences for their behavior, they are less likely to argue with you about their punishment.

“If they complain about it, or whatever it is, ‘OK, you chose,’” the parenting expert said.

‘It can even de-escalate the situation, because that small amount of choice is not a bad thing.

Bowers recommended giving your child a choice in his punishment. “You can say, ‘Well, do you want to do four hours of DIY or lose your driving privileges?'” she explained

“If they complain about it, or whatever it is, ‘OK, you chose,’” the parenting expert said. ‘It can actually de-escalate the situation’

“Give it a try and let me know how it goes,” she concluded.

Bowers has been candid about her childhood and how it shaped her as a mother.

In her upcoming book, Raising Beautiful Messes, she helps other mothers understand themselves better so they can build strong relationships with their daughters.

She opened up the moment she realized her parenting style needed to change another video shared on TikTok

Bowers explained that she was in her first year as a high school principal when she had an encounter with a student who was bullying another girl and her mother.

The former director recalled how the mother began swearing and calling her daughter names, which reminded her of her own childhood.

“I recognized her contempt, her language, her body language, just everything that she did, and then I also recognized the fear in that child, the shame and the longing for her mother to see her,” she said.

“I knew that I had been that daughter many times in my life, but I also knew as a mother that I had also reacted that way, and it made me sick.”

The experience made her look inward at her childhood trauma and improve her parenting so that her daughters would no longer fear her.

“That was the day I decided that the cycle would end with me and that I would do what I had to do to have a great relationship with my children,” she said.