I am a ski instructor and what I see on and off the slopes is breathtaking
CELEBS are living their best lives on skis with actress Michelle Keegan and presenter Laura Woods among the rich and famous sharing snowy snaps from the slopes.
Singer Robbie Williams celebrated his 50th birthday in the ice-capped Swiss mountains, with Ayda posting a video to the couple's Instagram this week to mark the singer's milestone.
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Ayda, 44, mother of his four children Teddy, 11, Charlie, nine, Coco, five, and Beau, three, arranged for the entire restaurant to sing Happy Birthday to her husband but Robbie, visibly embarrassed, quickly asked for the music to be turned down become.
Meanwhile, Michelle Keegan, 36, and husband Mark Wright, 37, also gave fans a glimpse into their snowy getaway to France, while TV presenter Laura Woods, 36, looked more loved up than ever with her boyfriend Adam Collard, 28, judging by photos she talked about their recent romantic vacation.
And Khloe Kardashian, who is no stranger to the slopes, braved the snow in Aspen and posed for a series of Instagram photos in a Gucci string bikini and a faux fur 'mafia woman' jacket and hat.
But what happens when the sun sets is much more than selfies, partying and posing.
These destinations aren't just a super expensive playground for the rich and famous, where burgers can cost as much as £50 and the roads are lined with designer boutiques.
Those of us who can afford it also hit the slopes at this time of year, with a week costing around £4,000 for a family of four, according to skiwear company Ellis Brigham.
Here we talk to a chalet worker turned ski instructor who has spent the last twenty years working all over the Alps, including France, Switzerland and Austria.
He reveals exactly what happens in some parts during the après-ski…
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Snow and fresh air make the revelers cheerful
You may think it's the heat that makes people happy on vacation, but I know all too well that being outside in the mountain air all day can get you 'in the mood'.
Ski instructors are a magnet for women. We are generally young, tanned from the sun and very fit – you have to ski all day, every day.
During my single days as a ski instructor, I never turned down offers from the most attractive women; usually there is a different one every week. It takes little effort; they are eager to make their intentions known.
I've even had discreet sex in the snow, on a path to the capital, but that's nothing like…
The chairlift sex club
It's not just the staff that gets steamy. I once witnessed a woman pleasuring her partner on the chairlift right behind me.
On another occasion I heard a story of a chalet worker who went in to do a quick clean upstairs and overheard a couple having sex while their other halves were having an aperitif downstairs.
Who knows what will happen later after a few too many, but swinging is commonplace in some places.
I once witnessed a woman pleasuring her partner on the chairlift.”
And apparently the hot tubs in the chalet were also a hot bed of passion.
Bad problems with the sauna master
Be warned if you're skiing in Austria: the steam rooms and saunas are not where it gets too hot.
The Austrians take them very seriously as a welfare tool. For hygienic reasons you have to be naked to enter it, although the more modest people sometimes wrap themselves in a towel, but that is emphatically no reason to put it on.
One resort has a famous elevator and if you manage to have sex in it unnoticed, you'll get a T-shirt by the time you reach the top.”
The sauna master takes his role as supervisor of the activities there very seriously.
You can get kicked out for wearing swim shorts, and you'd definitely be on your ear if he caught couples enjoying a tissue.
Guys have sex everywhere. Saunas, swimming pools, shoe rooms… virtually no corner remains untouched.
One resort has a famous elevator and if you manage to have sex in it unnoticed, you'll get a T-shirt by the time you reach the top.
One chalet worker told me she had lost count of the number of times she entered rooms to tidy up, thinking guests were skiing, only to find married men in bed with other women.
They were shocked and buried their heads under the covers as she rushed from the room like a bewildered mouse.
Beware of drunk instructors
To teach in a ski school you must be an excellent skier and know the slopes like the back of your hand.
Many of us were born and raised in the mountains and absolutely love it. We can see what the snow will be like and many of us are second or third generation instructors.
The staff is sleeping in all corners, drunk as skunks.”
But there are times when your instructor may not be in the best shape – we've been known to stay up all night drinking, then pick up our skis and go teach.
When we're not working, the staff is sleeping in all corners of the resort, drunk as a skunk from après-ski.
There's plenty of white stuff
When we say white powder, we don't mean the snow.
There's no indication that celebrities are remotely interested, but at a resort it's easy to find drugs – especially cannabis and cocaine.
The cocaine costs between £50 and £100 depending on the quality, and ski instructors often know exactly where to get it.
At a resort where I worked, there was a waiter at a top restaurant who also sold drugs.
When he was arrested, he had a huge suitcase full of drugs. He was, of course, imprisoned, but soon someone took his place.
It is the norm to take pictures of strangers' belly buttons, and staff at other resorts have reported that women get free drinks if they flash their breasts to the DJ.”
Ski instructor
A chalet girl told me she once found a camera left by guests and had to take a look at the photos: photos of an older man and a young woman taking cocaine from each other's bodies.
People love to show off their bodies, so nothing is a surprise.
It is the norm to take pictures of strangers' belly buttons, and staff at other resorts have said women get free drinks if they flash their breasts to the DJ.
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Celebrities love virgin snow
I think some celebrities like skiing because they can choose to be anonymous and wear huge ski goggles and hats that make them barely recognizable.
And other times they really want to be seen, which can be quite annoying. They pose for their socials and block the track, while you try to get by with a class full of people.
The super rich and famous demand only the best – so they ask the head of the ski school to guide them and be at their beck and call the entire time they are there.
And their needs are endless, from asking for the best racing skis they can buy at their hotel, to starting to find the virgin snow at six in the morning and demanding to be taken to secret slopes so they not having to meet the 'scum'.
One celebrity even demanded to take to the slopes in a skidoo so he didn't have to go up the ski lifts with 'normal' people.
Ski instructors with all the benefits
We need to make the most of the time we have in the ski season – and we always hope for generous tips from all our students.
We are particularly happy that we can also buy drinks and lunch, so don't wait any longer!
They are like the football players on the slopes at her resort and spread STDs and germs like wildfire.”
I have given preferential treatment to the most generous people, such as making sure they are at the front of the group to get on the lift and that they ski behind me.
According to an acquaintance of a chalet girl, male ski instructors walk around like gods.
They're like the football players on the slopes at her resort, spreading STDs and germs like wildfire.
She claims this is the ultimate prize for any chalet girl, and if you manage to get an instructor to bed it is seen as a huge win.
All the stuff, but no idea
The worst people to teach are the ones who come out, they have all the gear and have no idea how dangerous it can be and that they really need to listen to their instructor and be aware of what is going on around them.
And after a drunken lunch, they're particularly terrifying. One man broke most of the bones in his body when he crashed into a tree at high speed – he simply couldn't concentrate at all.
The rule of thumb is that it is the responsibility of the person higher up the hill to look out for what happens in the future and be responsible for avoiding those lower down.
But sometimes experts ski at a speed of 80 or even 90 km/h. In the high season you see the rescue ambulance almost every day.
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