I was a triumph on The Traitors because middle-aged mothers are such good liars, says season one star Amanda

As I settled down, gin and tonic in hand, to watch the BBC series The Traitors, my thoughts wandered back to the first season when it was me in that beautiful Scottish castle, taking advantage of my skills to deceive my fellow participants.

Ten million people watch the current season every week, but if you haven't seen it yet, imagine a killing spree in the dark, organized by the ruthless Claudia Winkleman.

Gathered in a remote castle in Scotland, 22 strangers face challenges that they must complete as a team to earn money for the prize pool.

But within hours of arriving, Winkleman secretly anoints certain people as “Traitors,” meeting alone each evening to decide which of the “Faithful” to kill.

In turn, the Believers must seek to doubt and expose the Traitors. The last person (or persons) standing will win the prize pool of up to £120,000.

The resulting paranoid atmosphere means that no one feels like they can trust anyone – except maybe a friendly middle-aged lady like me.

As I watched this season's unfolding drama – Paul and Harry turning on Ash (Traitors all), the Faithful inadvertently targeting the perceptive Anthony, Miles handing the 'cup of doom' to Diane – I wished I she could whisper some advice to all of them. Because during my time on the show, I think I discovered the key (or at least one of them) to successfully manipulating the other contestants.

My secret weapon was that none of my fellow actors suspected that I, a 55-year-old mother of five and grandmother of six, who quickly became everyone's confidante and shoulder to cry on, could be so duplicitous.

It wasn't until episode ten that they realized that I might be the matriarch of the group by day, but a “murderer” by night. My gentle, caring personality was the perfect disguise.

After having my first child at 21, I'd been in the trenches of parenthood for decades when I signed up for the first series of the show. (My youngest children, twin girls, are 18 and studying for A-levels.)

I had also worked since I was a teenager, most recently as a manager in a real estate agency, and had been married and divorced twice. Five years ago I reunited with my first husband, who had always been my best friend.

All this, it turns out, is the perfect training for succeeding on a TV game show where you have to deceive and betray other people 24/7. After all, we working mothers spend so much of our lives switching between roles – we're parents, school moms, soccer moms, ballet moms, cooks, cleaners, employees, co-workers, bosses, friends, grandmothers – that, to be honest, it doesn't really matter. felt It took so much effort for me to take on the mantle of a traitor and at the same time act like a believer.

For example, it was not an unworldly attempt to give the impression that I was paying attention during work meetings while also checking the clock for fear that I would be late for the after-school club pick-up.

It also felt a lot like going to work with a child who was still clinging to my legs and wouldn't stay with a childminder.

In both cases, women have to hide their feelings and essentially deceive those around them into believing that the role they are currently playing is the role that matters most.

After decades of taking on different roles for different people, it's a skill that takes some time to master. Better yet – for the purposes of the game – women become great readers of people when they are constantly juggling.

Which other parents can you trust to take your children to sports practice? Can the boss blame you if you ask to work from home because your child is too sick to go to school? Which fellow mother is the main agitator of the WhatsApp class and how can you keep them on side?

The younger participants and the men – who rarely have to deal with this juggling act – had no idea who they were up against.

They saw me as an innocent mother, someone who couldn't possibly be devious. They had no idea of ​​the skills needed to navigate the world as a middle-aged woman.

Because I was 'the mother', I naturally also became a sounding board. Fifty-year-old women often find themselves in this role, where their own needs are sacrificed for others, their problems are seen as less important, and I was happy to play along with that. I don't blame anyone: I became genuinely interested in them and their stories.

And while the other participants were telling me their deepest secrets, they were telling me who they thought the Traitors were, so I took the opportunity to steer them away from the real secrets and plant negative thoughts about other Faithfuls.

And as I told the lies I had to tell, I compared it in my head to telling my children about Santa Claus. The Santa story is not a nasty lie: we don't traumatize children for life, we play a role in a scenario that everyone enjoys.

So we gave Rudolph a shout out because it's a drama that everyone loves and wants to be involved in. That was also my attitude when we were filming The Traitors. I wasn't lying: I was keeping an important secret.

So as we enter the final week of this series, who do I think will win? Who is flying under the radar – as I have done for so long?

I was saddened to see retired teacher Diane, 63, recently fall prey to the Traitors. She was a strong and intelligent woman and had a big secret of her own (that fellow competitor Ross is her son). But ultimately her growing influence among the other Faithfuls became her downfall.

Until she was killed off in Friday's episode, I had said Charlie, a stalwart, was one to watch. She started the game by sitting back, observing and not saying much, but started gaining friends and popularity.

Of The Traitors, I think Harry, and his clever ability to avoid drama, has the best game yet. But as we learned last year, you can't trust anyone there at all – something that came as quite a shock to some younger members of my own family.

My eldest grandson, who is ten, said to me, 'Nanny, you lied. You're not supposed to lie.” I told him, 'I wasn't lying; I kept a secret because it was a game.”

What I didn't count on was the subsequent honor of being adopted as a gay icon and spending much of 2023 hosting Pride events and doing meet and greets at gay nightclubs in Britain .

While I was flattered, as a heterosexual, middle-aged woman, I was baffled by this – although I've been told this is because I came across as such a strong woman.

Apparently the defining moment was when I told my fellow traitor Wilf that if he 'threw me under the bus' by telling the faithful I was a traitor, no matter how proud I am to be from the Swansea Valley, I would change in a Welsh dragon.

Of course, that's exactly what he ended up doing. We only had a handful of participants at the time, and that level of intimacy made it harder to get across either camp.

Ultimately, of course, Wilf was also exposed as a traitor, and the three finalists – Faithful's Aaron, Hannah and Meryl – split the winnings between them.

I was happy for them. It wasn't the prize money that motivated me – I would have struggled to keep it all for myself if I had won – it was fulfilling the role to the best of my ability.

I have to admit, I had a hard time seeing this year's Traitors around the cauldron. I loved my cloak: when I got it, I felt like I was being knighted by Claudia. But now it's someone else's turn to wear it – and good luck to them.

I'm listening to every fascinating, underhanded minute of this last fascinating week.

• As told to Helen Carroll. The Traitors Season 2 airs Wednesday to Friday on BBC One and BBC iPlayer. The Traitors Season 1 is available to watch on BBC iPlayer.