Parental Guidance TV host Justin Coulson reveals heartbreaking details about his surfer cousin's suicide note

The uncle of a promising young surfer who committed suicide has opened up about his cousin's death and suicide note.

Logan Steinwede, 20, was known as a “super happy guy” and was on the verge of turning professional before he took his own life on November 6.

His death was a bolt of lightning for his mother Karina Foran and her brother Justin Coulson, 48, a well-known psychologist who specializes in parenting.

Dr. Coulson, who co-hosts Channel Nine's Parental Guidance show and has written nine books on raising children, said they were shocked by Steinwede's death.

'No one in the family had any idea this would happen. We can draw the line at many things, but we just don't know what the trigger is,” he told the newspaper. Sunday post.

Mr. Steinwede left a suicide note that was “almost entirely expressions of love and sorrow,” his uncle said, while Ms. Foran, 44, said she will never recover from her son's death.

The mother-of-six, who is also stepmother to two children with her husband, Gold Coast Titans player Kieran Foran, said she would “do anything to change the outcome, I would trade my life to get him back”.

Dr. Coulson, the founder of happyfamilies.com.au, said he didn't think his cousin had any idea of ​​the grief his death would cause.

Mr Steinwede took his own life while at his maternal grandparents' home on the NSW central coast.

Two days later, Dr Coulson said in grim words on social media: 'My cousin died on Sunday night. He died by suicide.”

“My mother and father – his grandparents – found him Monday morning,” Dr. Coulson wrote.

After realizing it was too late for Logan to be saved, the grandparents were faced with the terrible task of calling their daughter, Mrs. Foran, to break the devastating news.

She was in Melbourne with her husband and they had to tell her to come home because her son had just died.

Dr. Coulson said his cousin was “the most energetic and delightful child I know.” Friendly. Pleasure. Laughing all the time.'

He said his children loved hanging out with their cousin Logan, and so did he.

“We surfed together at Kirra last year when the surf was the best it could be,” he wrote. “Surfing was his thing… so much so that he was almost a professional.”

The psychologist described the horrific moment his parents found their grandson's body.

He said it was “too late to help.” Too late to do anything other than scream “No.”

“It was too late for him to hear them as they shouted his name over and over, 'Logan! Logan! Logan! Logan!' “No no no no no!!!!”

“How do you hold your grandson's body for the last time? That's what my parents did on Monday morning.'

He also talked about what he called “the ripple effect… as each new person discovers the terrible truth.”

“Logan's dead? How? Suicide? No! Not Logan! How can that be? He was so happy. No! Please do not.'

Dr. Coulson said the suicide note “won't bring peace or relief to anyone… Because he's dead.”

Mrs Foran remembered her son as “fearless and impulsive, and maybe there was something that was missed – you're running around in your head a million times and it's f***** up.”

She said she had “a great bond” with her son and they talked about everything. “Logan knew how much he was loved, so his death is earth-shattering.”

The mother, who works as a gym teacher and shop assistant, said her husband was a great support to her and asked her 'what do you need today, honey?' Every morning.

“But nothing can replace a part of you that is no longer there,” she said.

Ms Foran said if she could talk to other people with suicidal thoughts, she would tell them to ask for help and tell others how they feel, that there is nothing that can't be solved with someone's help.

'The space he has left is so empty. All those things that you think are bad as a parent, those are the things I miss the most.”

Dr. Coulson said the family's grief never ended, but the constant search for reasons didn't help, even if they did it themselves.

He said that when people wake up in the morning, they may feel good for ten seconds or a minute, but then their brain reminds them of what happened.

'You don't just lose someone, you lose them every day for the rest of your life. It's said in an overwhelming and tragic way because it feels like it should have been completely avoidable.”

Dr. Coulson wrote last November that he wanted people to know some facts about suicide in this country — and that he would reach out to anyone who might be struggling with it.

“There are nine suicides every day in Australia,” he wrote. 'Seven of those nine suicides per day are men. Two of those nine are women.'

Suicide is the leading cause of death among people between the ages of 15 and 24.

“Suicide is a complex issue and rarely is there just one factor that leads someone to commit suicide,” he wrote.

Pointing out what can be done to help, he said strong social ties reduce the risk of suicide.

“Please, please, please, please be kind. Have compassion. Be gentle. Be inclusive. Be supportive. Be less critical and judgmental and more of a cheerleader,” Dr. Coulson said.

'Don't sit on your child's back (or on your partner/spouse's back). Instead, make sure you have their back. Love them and make sure they know it. They need to know that they matter.'

Dr. Coulson also said that people should stop saying “I have no words” when confronted with tragic news, even if the use of that phrase is well-intentioned.

In October, he spoke on his Happy Families Podcast with Colin Campbell, the author of a book called Finding the Words, which he wrote after his two teenagers died in a car accident.

'Colin makes it clear that when we say 'there are no words' we are, in a sense, reducing the person's life to nothing.

“We must find the words, because the words we find tell the stories of those we love. And those stories help us celebrate their lives and our love for them,” he said.

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