My boyfriend wants a child-free wedding, but my due date is two weeks early and I’m a bridesmaid
An expectant mother has been urged to quit as a bridesmaid at her friend’s wedding, which is just weeks away.
She explained that her due date is just two and a half weeks before the bride ties the knot.
She said Reddit users that she is 10 weeks pregnant and hasn’t told her girlfriend because she is afraid of ruining her wedding experience.
The ceremony will be a child-free event and her baby will be too young to be babysat by anyone else while she is present.
“The wedding is about an hour and a half away,” she wrote.
‘The bride knows we’ve been TTC [trying to conceive] but I haven’t told her about the pregnancy yet.
“I’ll tell her in a few weeks.”
The mother-to-be said she would have to stay in separate accommodation and meet the bridal party for hair and makeup on the day of the wedding.
She would also have to pump every two to three hours throughout the day, while her husband would bring the baby milk.
“I’ll probably still wear maxi pads or possibly diapers for the bleeding, and I have no idea what dress size I’ll be after delivery,” she said.
“No idea how I’ll handle being in front of the altar at that moment and standing around all day, especially if I end up having a C-section.”
“I will probably have to stop by during the photo shoot between the ceremony and the reception to check on the baby.
“At the reception it is very unlikely that I will be the star of the party [crying].
“I really don’t know how to approach this conversation with the bride.
“I thought about expressing my fears to her about what life might be like after giving birth and offering to step down so she can have the best marital experience possible.”
She revealed that her friend had expressed concerns several times about people not attending because they were busy with babies or pregnant.
“Every time she said that, I just reassured her that just because someone is pregnant or has a baby doesn’t mean they won’t be happy and excited to celebrate her,” she said.
“I kept it very general and didn’t refer to myself specifically.
“But I never thought I’d have a two-week-old baby on her wedding date, and that’s why I’m so scared to tell her.”
A flood of responses to the post advised the woman to withdraw as her friend’s bridesmaid.
“First of all, congratulations!!!” wrote one person.
“Second, I don’t know a single woman who was able to go to a social event 2.5 weeks after giving birth.
“Most people are still recovering for weeks! Moreover, sleep deprivation is very real.
“I think it might be better to say goodbye to the bridal party and maybe even the wedding in an elegant way if you’re getting so close.
“If your girlfriend is a good friend, she will understand. She can still be sad because her feelings are valid, but she should be understanding.
“It’s not like you chose to have your due date so close and she knew you were actively TTC [trying to conceive].
“It would be crazy to expect you to stop trying to plan a wedding, and hopefully she understands.”
“Realistically you probably can’t be there at all and you should let her know as soon as possible,” said another.
“However, given the circumstances, I would suggest that you be involved in the wedding planning to show your support.
“You can go shopping for clothes together, choose a photographer or whatever she needs, while you are not yet heavily pregnant.”
“As a pregnant woman I would judge this solely on my recovery,” a third added.
“She needs to understand that everyone is different and that recovery is different.
“Maybe it will be fine again in 2.5 weeks, but who knows? You only know that when it happens.
“If she doesn’t understand that, she needs to reevaluate herself.
“I would never be mad if someone missed my wedding because they had a baby, lol.
“Don’t beat yourself up about it. Think of YOURSELF in this situation.”
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