Me Walk Pretty One Day
Over the past month of our walking series, we’ve cultivated awe, encouraged conversation, ramped up our workouts, and searched for micro-adventures. I want to end on a more light-hearted note. David Sedaris, an avid hiker, humorist, and author of 13 books, including “Me Talk Pretty One Day” and “Happy-Go-Lucky,” is the perfect person to help me out.
Sedaris, who splits his time between New York City and Sussex, England, has been walking every day since 2014, when he started tracking his steps with a Fitbit. He has walked in cities around the world, including Tokyo and Reykjavik. He even had one garbage truck named after him in England, where he combines walking with picking up rubbish.
We chatted about his walking schedule and how far he will go to maintain his daily goal of 21,000 steps (at least).
Conversation has been edited for clarity and length.
What are your hiking plans for today?
I run from, I don’t know, 3 am to 7 am. I mean, I have to walk at least 10 miles.
Every day?
Yes. I have calves like inverted bowling pins, and a lot of people think they’re implants.
What happens if you don’t walk? Don’t you feel yourself?
I have an Apple Watch and you have to fill in three circles on it. But it will write to me and say, “You have filled all your circles for 1800 days.” So I can’t break that.
It would be much more, but years ago I flew from Los Angeles to Sydney, and I crossed the International Date Line, and I lost the day. It wasn’t my fault, but I lost my perfect record on my Apple Watch. So I had to start over.
I was on a plane in Australia in January and I thought I would have five hours in my hotel, but it was just a fiasco with the flight. So I ended up running in place in my plane seat for maybe an hour and a half.
Like soft footsteps? I’m not imagining it clearly.
My feet were on the floor, but I moved my arms as if I was running.
You didn’t know your seatmate?
No. I mean, I’d hate to sit next to me. But you will get the steps that way if you have to. I think you deserve the points for humiliating yourself.
And I think you get points for resourcefulness. Just like one night my flight got cancelled. I get in a car before nine, I went to town for my show and I had to go straight to the theater and straight to the stage. And I wasn’t close to my guard goal.
So this young woman came to sign a book and I said, “What are you going to do now?” So she said, “Now? I’m not doing anything.” And I took off my watch. I put it on her wrist. I gave her $20 and I said “I need you to walk two miles.”
Why did you switch from a Fitbit to an Apple Watch?
I had a friend who wanted to become Fitbit friends. Fitbit friends, I always just bust them. But she destroyed me. If I walked 24 miles a day, she would walk 24 and a quarter because she lived in an earlier time zone. It just drove me crazy.
And Hugh, my friend, said, “Just unfriend her.” And I said, ‘I can’t. That just doesn’t look good.” So instead I just threw away my Fitbit.
What is the longest walk you have taken? I read it was 22 miles.
No, it was 91,000 steps. Forty-one miles. I can do 22 in my sleep.
Does Hugh often walk with you?
No, he never goes with me. It’s like, everything I do, I have to exaggerate and screw it up, you know? So he just doesn’t want to be a part of that.
For anyone who has an obsessive-compulsive nature, a Fitbit or an Apple Watch will do the job. Like the idea that I have a perfect record for 1,680 days, I’m never going to break that for anything.
What could be will you let that break?
If I was crossing the street and I looked up and saw a car coming towards me, my first thought would be “my watch”.
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