I said no when my ‘spongy’ friend asked me to lend her £20 for petrol. I don’t think it’s normal for friends to lend money, but people say I’m mean

A woman is dividing opinion after turning down her friend’s request to borrow money for gas.

The unnamed woman, who revealed her predicament on the British parenting forum Mothernetsaid the friend had sent her a DM asking for £20, promising to pay it back ‘next Sunday’.

The woman called the behavior “spongy” and said it was not the first time her friend asked her to borrow money.

The poster said that even though it only cost £20, she didn’t want the anxiety of worrying about whether it would be paid back, and she was worried that if she said yes, the friend might next time ask to borrow more. But on the other hand, she was afraid she was mean.

Many sympathized with the poster and even offered advice on what to say the next time her friend knocked, but others said they would always help a friend if they could afford it.

She wrote: ‘My friend DM’d me asking for £20 for petrol money and said she can pay it back next Sunday.

‘Am I a cow because I don’t want to? It’s just that she recently asked and I said no, and I feel like if I said yes it would become normal.

‘This time it might only be £20, but next time it could be £100. And I don’t need the fear or the idea that it won’t be paid back in the next seven days.”

She concluded by asking the forum whether it was “normal” for friends to lend each other money, before calling the whole affair “spongy.”

One person instructed the woman to respond with, “Sorry, it’s too tight right now.”

“Just say no,” another suggested.

“That’s not possible, I’m completely bald” was what another advised the poster to say to the friend.

One person said friends shouldn’t lend each other money, explaining: ‘A normal person would be £20 overdrawn if it was only a week. I don’t borrow money from friends and I don’t lend it out either. Too much politics/aggravation surrounding it. And if a friend can’t afford £20, what makes her think you can?’

Another added: “It’s okay to say no. Your feelings are justified, so why would you choose to wait (at least) a week for your payment?

Meanwhile, someone else said: “Or give it to her, but only if you can afford to lose it.”

The news comes after research found that almost half of Brits are too polite to ask for their money back after lending it to a friend. About 45 percent will avoid the conversation at all costs if their money is not returned.

Meanwhile, outstanding loans of £10 to £150 are causing anxiety for most people, who say they would rather write them off.

A total of 16 percent never ask for their money back, no matter how much is lent. Young adults are suffering the most, with 87 percent of people aged 18 to 24 unwilling to ask for a refund for amounts less than £73.

Richard Lynch of cash management app Suits Me, who surveyed 1,000 British adults, said it fit the image of Brits being “polite to the point of awkward”.

However, some said it depends on the closeness of the relationship.

“If it was a good friend I would definitely lend it to her,” said one. ‘I have five people who fit into this category that I am not related to.

‘Close family would get the £20 and I wouldn’t want it back.’

Another echoed a similar sentiment, saying they would always want to help a friend in need.

‘If a friend asked me for £20 and I had it, I would give it to her because it’s not common so I know she really needed it. I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t do that,” she wrote.

Another explained that she had been in the friend’s situation and had had to borrow a small amount of money from a friend because she had no other choice.

“After splitting from my partner a year ago, I’m now a single parent with a house to run and things are terribly tight, even though I’ve been promoted in that time,” she recalls.

‘My car broke down a few months ago and I needed 25 more than I had (no more overdraft) to get it fixed and payday was in a week.

‘I felt terrible, embarrassed and ashamed, but I messaged my girlfriend and explained the situation, but also said I completely understood if she didn’t want to lend it to me. She did so right away and I paid it back the morning I got paid.”