I’m a Relationship Expert, and Here’s Why Gen Z’s ‘Boysober’ TikTok Trend Is a Great Idea

Relationship experts have spoken out about the new ‘boysober’ trend that has led to it Generation Z will take the vow of celibacy to ‘find themselves’.

Hope Woodward, 27, who grew up in Tennessee, coined the phrase and made the decision to abstain from sex and relationships of any kind for 365 days in an effort to find emotional clarity.

On her TikTok she outlines the rules for becoming a boysober in 2024, including oneo dating apps, no dates, no exes and no situationships.’

“You’re not single if someone is taking up your brain space,” Hope added.

Since her theory, many other women from around the world have followed in her footsteps and said they were also going boysober, with many reporting feeling better than ever before.

Relationship experts have said the trend is positive as online dating can be ‘mentally overwhelming’.

Georgina Sturmer, a consultant and member of the BACP, said boysober can be good for taking a break from online dating, which can be “mentally overwhelming”

Georgina Sturmer, a consultant and member of the BACP, told us Indy100: ‘The dating scene can be fun and exciting. But it can also feel overwhelming. The choice to become “boy sober” feels like an active choice for women to focus on their own identities and needs.

“Instead of being drawn to please someone else, to care for someone else, or to mold yourself into someone else.”

Another woman who has tried to become a boyober is 28 years old Carly Galluzzo From New York.

She started dating when she was 16, but after hearing about the boysober trend, she decided to give it a try.

Carly said, “I decided to be single for the first time in forever. I didn’t talk to anyone, I broke up with all my situationships.

‘I’m on the other side now, where I actually find relationships and couples… very strange.’ She concluded, “More people should be single.”

Keeley Taverner, an expert on toxic relationships, told the newspaper that this trend has come about due to the fatigue of ‘friends with benefits’ and women being harassed by potential partners.

“Time and energy can be channeled into personal development, without the worries and concerns that can weigh you down when dating in the modern age,” she said.

After Hope shared her plan to become a boyober, other people have followed suit, including Carly (pictured) from New York

Content creator Mariana (pictured right) has also become a boy waiter and claims she is now living her ‘best life’

Another TikTok called Mariana Garrido Costa, from Lisbon, has also jumped on the trend. She shared a clip that read, “POV, you’re living your best life because you’re a boy waiter and there’s absolutely no drama in your life.”

Mariana was on the TV with her friend at the post. She added in the caption, “I’m telling y’all…y’all gotta try it.”

Founder and relationship expert at The Matchmaker UK, Lara Besbrode, told the newspaper that she thinks women increasingly want to focus on their ‘own growth’, rather than that of a relationship.

She said: ‘Women are making a conscious decision to prioritize their well-being and performance, finding joy and fulfillment in their independence and reshaping societal expectations about happiness and relationship status.’

Elsewhere, people have taken to the comments section of Hope’s TikTok to share their thoughts on the trend.

One said: ‘I had a boysober in 2023 and now I don’t know how to let it go because I enjoyed the quiet too much.’

A second added: ‘I did a boy waiter for the whole of 2023 and it was the best decision. I’m slowly dating again now and have such a better attitude.’

“I was boysober this year and it was great. I love spending time with myself and my friends and feel so amazing and grown,” a third wrote.

A fourth added: “It’s been like this for the past year, it’s so liberating.” Similarly, another said, “I’m so ready for my boy’s sober journey.”