Is Lily Allen right that children ruin your career? Furious debate ensues on GMB as guest clashes with Savannah Miller, who says it’s ‘very damaging’ to say women have to choose between work and motherhood

A heated debate broke out on Good Morning Britain as guests clashed over whether motherhood is ruining women’s careers.

Broadcaster and mother-of-two Narinder Kaur said that ‘mothers need to be at home’ because they ‘can’t have both’, while fashion designer and mother-of-three Savannah Miller argued that women ‘can do both’.

The debate comes after singer Lily Allen admitted having children ‘ruined’ her career and rejected the idea that women can ‘have it all’.

Agreeing with the Smile singer, Narinder said that a woman having children and a successful career is ‘a myth’.

She added: “I want to pat Lily Allen on the back for being completely honest. I think she has triggered a lot of mothers who believe in the myth that you can have it all, but you can’t.

‘You absolutely cannot have a successful career and raise children. It’s a lie because if you want to be a fully present mother and meet their physical and emotional needs, you have to be a stay-at-home mom.”

Savannah disagreed, saying that women can balance motherhood and career, but they must “make sacrifices.”

She said: ‘I don’t believe we can have everything, we have to make sacrifices. However, it is very harmful to tell your daughters that they will have to choose between being a mother or having a career.

‘Also telling your sons that this is what you expect from your wife or girlfriend when they give birth – that they are just going to put their careers on the shelf and yours is more important – is, quite frankly, disgusting.

‘I want to raise boys who go out into the world to support women. Why is a man’s career given more value than a woman’s? I do not feel like it.’

The fashion designer revealed that she was a ‘flexible worker’ when she had children and had people around her who could help.

She said: ‘I had people from my village help me when I couldn’t get to the school gate and I would put my children to bed every night, read them a story and go back to my laptop. It is very damaging to tell women that their careers do not have the same value as men’s.’

Narinder disagreed and said, “We don’t have to be Superwoman, we have to be mothers at home with our children. Unfortunately, this world is not made for two working parents and as a mother I believe that the mother should be at home with the children.’

Viewers rushed to X, formerly known as Twitter, to leave their thoughts on the controversial topic.

One person said: ‘Lily Allen’s comments highlight the need for more discussion and support around the challenges parents face in the workplace. It’s not about ‘having it all’, it’s about finding a balance that works for you.’

Another said: ‘How is this even a debate? A career isn’t really a sacrifice for having children. Have some damn perspective.”

Someone else said: ‘It’s impossible to be 100% committed to a job and 100% committed to raising children.

‘Women seem to be obsessed with proving they can do anything, but they can’t! I am a stay at home mom and am ashamed that I made that choice! I think your career needs to be put on hold to raise your child.”

A fourth said: ‘They don’t ruin a career, but if you are the main childcare provider, or even share equally with your partner, having children limits your ability to continue rising through the ranks!

‘I’ve often felt like I’m not giving, both at work and as a mother, the juggling guilt is real!’

The debate comes after Lily Allen admitted her two daughters ‘totally ruined’ her pop career because she chose to prioritize them over work, insisting: ‘You can’t have it all’.

The 38-year-old singer and actress said she believes women should decide whether to put their children or their careers first, saying she chose the former.

‘My children ruined my career. “I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop stardom they’ve totally ruined it,” she told the BBC Radio Times podcast.

“I get really annoyed when people say you can have it all, because honestly, you can’t.

‘Some people choose their career over their children and that’s their prerogative, but my parents were quite absent when I was little.

“I feel like it left some nasty scars that I don’t want to repeat on mine.”

Lily’s father is actor Keith Allen, 70, who left her film producer mother Alison Owen, 63, when Lily was four.

Lily has now said that she has ‘chosen to take a step back and focus on my children’ and she is glad she did because ‘they are quite versatile.’

The Smile singer shares two daughters Ethel Mary, 12, and Marnie Rose, 10, with her builder ex-husband Sam Cooper, 45, but released her last studio album No Shame in 2018.

Lily now lives in New York with her children and new husband, Stranger Things star David Harbour, 48, who she married in 2020 and has turned her hand to acting.