My neighbor yelled at me for organizing a barbecue without telling her in advance

A woman has divided opinion after she revealed she was beaten by her neighbor for hosting a barbecue without warning her first – as smoke seeped into her clean laundry.

The anonymous woman took to the UK parenting forum Mumsnet to ask if she was wrong to host the event when her neighbor had her clothes on the clothesline.

She explained that the woman, with whom she has a relatively amicable relationship, stormed into the garden and confronted her over the fence during the party, claiming she shouldn’t be having barbecues at all if a neighbor has laundry to dry.

When she asked others for their opinion on whether she was wrong or not, she got mixed responses from other forum users, with some saying she hadn’t done anything wrong, while others saying she should have given her neighbor a fair warning.

She wrote, “Last weekend my family and I had a barbecue.

“I was a little startled by her tone, but answered and said, ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t even think. Next time I’ll knock and you can bring in your laundry.’

‘The next day I saw the neighbor – I wouldn’t say I know them very well, but always polite and saying hello, smiling etc.

This time though she looked extremely annoyed and said along the lines of “next time you decide to have a stinky bbq in your garden please let me know in advance, my laundry was drying and it was screwed up. I had to go all over again a lot”. (It was a standard bbq so yes bbq smells but nothing out of the ordinary).

She answered and said, “No, I’m not taking my laundry in, when I’m washing the laundry, you can’t have a BBQ!” And she stormed off.

“Well, I’ll be honest it didn’t even cross my mind to let the neighbors know I was barbecuing, but yeah, okay, I see in the future it would be polite to let them know.

‘But am I unreasonable to think that even if [my neighbour] has clothes off can I still have a barbecue?!’

Users took to the thread to reassure the woman she wasn’t wrong, with some even saying her neighbor was sloppy.

One user wrote: ‘She sounds horrible!! I’ve never warned a neighbor about a barbecue!’

Another said, “I can see if my immediate neighbors have the laundry, so I’ll check, and I’ll let them know so they can get the laundry in.”

“Your neighbor sounds kind of syrupy though, she clearly doesn’t want you barbecuing, whether she has dishes or not.”

A third wrote: ‘No, although some people sniffle terribly about barbecues and other gardening activities. I was once where the neighbor dropped the snake on us.’

A fourth commented, “If she had explained it and not been mean about it, I’d be happy to inform the neighbors in the future.”

“However, with an attitude like that, I’d wait until the next time her laundry was out and turn on the BBQ.”

But others disagreed and thought that the woman should have told her neighbor about the barbecue in advance.

One user wrote, “I would probably text my neighbor if I was about to cook and could see her washing her laundry. She sounds crazy though.’

Another said, “If a close neighbor has a wash, I’d warn them.” why wouldn’t you?’

A third wrote: ‘If you can see the laundry next door it would be nice to warm them up.

‘Nobody wants to have to redo a whole load and people with breathing problems can be quite bothered by charcoal barbecues. Most people have gas now, don’t they?

A fourth commented: ‘It annoys me when neighbors do this. I don’t eat meat and really don’t want my clean laundry to smell like charred meat.

“Fences are all low enough to see when people are washing out and it wouldn’t take more than two minutes to knock on the door to warn us.”

Another asked, “It takes a few minutes to slip a note through the door warning of a barbecue or whatever.” Why not do it in the interest of good neighborly relations?’