Poor Things' intimacy coordinator reveals she was kicked off sets because production staff didn't think she was 'helping' and admits Emma Stone didn't see the need to have her on board

The Poor Things intimacy coordinator has claimed she was kicked off sets in the wake of Hollywood's #MeToo movement, revealing that even Emma Stone questioned the need for it during filming.

Elle McAlpine, 33, from London, founded her company EK Intimacy with her drama schoolmate Katharine Hardman in 2022.

In recent years, the former actress has worked as an intimacy coordinator on TV shows like It's a Sin and The Great, supporting the stars and helping choreograph sex scenes.

Speak with The guardthe mother of one opened up about having to “sell herself” and continually explained the role of intimacy coordinators around the time of #MeToo.

Seven years ago, Elle agreed that there was an “undercurrent of sexism” surrounding her job – because she was a woman in her 20s working with “very experienced” professionals who had never had to deal with “this red tape” before had during filming.

She explains: “In the beginning, when we were trying to vouch for ourselves, I felt so much pressure: the scene had to be good.”

Looking back, Elle said she often faced hostility on sets and was even occasionally removed from productions.

She added: “I obviously got kicked out of a few sets because I wasn't helping.”

Without naming the production, Elle recalled how she crossed the line and shouted “cut” when she saw an actor feeling “really uncomfortable.”

But since the Screen Actors Guild mandated intimacy coordinators on sets in 2020 in response to #MeToo, Elle says directors have been more welcoming and first meetings are “more like a chemistry lecture.”

In August 2023, Emma Stone said she didn't think she would need Elle's support “as much” when filming of Poor Things began.

The La La Land actress said: “I couldn't have been more wrong. She was so gentle and passionate.

'She was so helpful. It changed the whole energy of the set and the feeling of safety.”

Although the film received critical acclaim, some sex scenes – including one in which Bella Baxter lets two boys watch her work as a prostitute – shocked viewers.

Looking back on that day of filming, Elle said the children's presence made taking photos “quite difficult.”

Before filming, Elle informed the children's parents on site, prompting one of their mothers to reassure her, “Oh, he watches Game of Thrones all the time, so that's fine!”

In the Directors Note podcast, Elle explained how she explained her position to Emma Stone at the beginning of filming.

Elle said: 'I remember saying to [Emma]your character has many intimate relationships with men she doesn't know.

'And by default we have a lot of supporting artists coming in.

“My job can be to help them because they're also coming into a space where there's a huge power dynamic going on, where you have a very famous actor and a very famous director […]

“There's a huge amount of pressure that these supporting actors will feel when they walk into a room like that.

“So let me just do my job to give them a space where they can feel safe and let me be in the space.”

In the wake of the sexual misconduct revelations about Harvey Weinstein, millions of people shared their stories of sexual harassment and assault.

The movement started in October 2017 after actress Alyssa Milano followed a suggestion from a friend of a friend and tweeted: “If you have been sexually harassed or assaulted, write 'me too' in reply to this tweet.” The hashtag was tweeted almost a million times in 48 hours.

In a previous interview with the Daily Mail, Elle revealed that she decided to become an intimacy coordinator after having a bad experience filming a sex scene as an actress.

She said: 'I remember at the age of 21 I was filming a sex scene that wasn't choreographed and the entire crew was men, so I had to drag a make-up artist onto set for moral support.'

'The crew were equally embarrassed and tried not to look, and that made me even more ashamed. If I could go back in time, I would have asked for some time to go through what was expected – what would be shown, what parts of my body could be touched and also asked for female support.

'The relationship between director and actor is unique and actors often only want to please.

“If they don't feel comfortable going to their director and saying, 'I don't want this,' they can go to the intimacy coordinator, who will initiate a dialogue with the director.

'When the director explains why something is part of a scene, why it is part of the character, the actors are often fine with that or say: “I don't want to do that kind of sex. Can we please change it?” That's a slightly more complicated conversation, but we'll get there. Overcoming obstacles in this way often creates better sex scenes.'

With It's A Sin, Elle worked with intimacy coordinator David Thackeray to draw the shapes they wanted to emulate in the 'sex montage' – 11 separate scenes at the start of the drama.

“Those guys were all very comfortable with each other and so embodied in their characters that it was a dream to work with,” she says. 'Russell T. Davies is very detailed and he writes so beautifully, but in other productions it might say, “They're having sex” and we can help them work through that in a very choreographed way.

“What's hard is when an actor, who knows he's meant to do these sex scenes, doesn't want to do them. This happened on a set that Ita and I came in late in the day and the content of the sex scenes was a bit of a work in progress.

“The actors were quite young, early 20s, and had a lot of courage and said, 'I'm not doing that,' and we had to communicate that to the director. It worked well in the end, but I think it's important to write out sex scenes at the beginning so they know what they're signing up for.”