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How to have a healthier relationship with your phone

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A few years ago, a Google employee sent an email to thousands of her colleagues: What if you spent one night a week without technology for six weeks?

The email was from Laura Mae Martin, Google’s executive productivity advisor, a role created in part to help staff members maintain healthier relationships with their gadgets and apps. After sending the note, Ms. Martin was inundated with responses from colleagues eager to take a break from some of the products they had helped build. Thousands of employees have since taken part in the annual “No-Tech Tuesday Night Challenge,” said Ms. Martin, author of the forthcoming book “Uptime: A Practical Guide to Personal Productivity and Well-Being.”

The problem she was trying to solve isn’t unique to Google employees. A survey found that most Americans say they spend too much time on it on their phones. But dramatic solutions—a digital detox, a phone downgrade, or a complete exit from social media—can feel impractical.

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with technology while still using it every day? Fortunately, according to experts, the answer is a resounding yes.

You know that urge you get to reach for your phone without even realizing it? And then, before you know it, you’re on a social media binge for an hour?

If you want to coexist peacefully with technology, you have to get a grip on those impulses. Start by noticing when you feel the urge to pick up your phone or open social media in your browser window, says Richard J. Davidson, the founder and director of the Center for Healthy Minds at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

By becoming aware of what you’re about to do, you interrupt automatic behavior and wake up the part of your brain that regulates self-control, he said. If one research article suggests that awareness of your actions can help you curb bad habits.

“When you become aware of the urge, just ask yourself, ‘Do I really have to do this?’” said Dr. Davidson.

Asking that question might help you pause, think about it, and resist the temptation to check your device. And let’s be realistic: sometimes you might decide to spend some screen time. But being aware of your urges can help you become more intentional about your habits, Dr. Davidson said.

Dr. Anna Lembke, a professor of psychiatry and addiction medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, said one of the biggest problems with smartphones is what she calls “texting while running to catch a bus.” Using our devices while we’re on the go (walking from meeting to meeting, taking a child to school, or taking the bus) can make us feel disconnected from our lives, says Dr. Lembke.

“We are missing out on a wealth of information and cues in the world around us, as well as depriving ourselves of the ability to process and interpret what we have experienced,” she said.

One way to create harmony with your technology is to limit your phone use while on the road. Out for a walk? Turn off your notifications. Are you going to get a coffee? Leave your phone on your desk. If you’re feeling brave, try turning off your phone while you’re out and about, said Dr. Lembke, who wrote “Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence.” It won’t buzz with notifications, texts, or phone calls, which Dr. Lembke said it could help you focus on the world around you.

Extended vacations with your gadgets may not be possible. But if you’re trying to spend less time staring at your screens, 10- or 15-minute breaks may be a more practical option, says Dr. Adam Gazzaley, a neuroscientist at the University of California, San Francisco and author of “The Distracted Mind: Old Brains in a High-Tech World.” You can take a short walk, close your eyes, work on a puzzle or read a book.

Another trick: put tech breaks on your calendar, said Dr. Gazzaley. It may feel strange to plan something like “taking a phone-free walk,” but that shouldn’t happen if it’s a priority, he said.

Don’t rely solely on your willpower to keep screen time down, says James A. Roberts, a consumer behavior expert at Baylor University. Instead, adjust your environment.

“Anything you can do to create an environment where you can move away from the phone as easily as possible will be helpful,” says Dr. Roberts, who wrote “Too Much of a Good Thing: Are You Addicted to Your Smartphone?”

Here are a few things you can try:

  • Buy an alarm clock. A phone alarm forces you to pick up your device when you wake up, making it far too easy to start checking email and alerts, Dr. Roberts said. But with a standalone alarm clock, you can leave your phone untouched until you decide it’s time to dive in.

  • Appoint an accountability partner. Dr. Roberts suggested asking a family member or friend to remind you to put down your device if you’ve been using it for too long, if someone is trying to have a conversation with you, or at other times when it’s interfering with your life. environment disrupted. offline world.

  • Delete social media from your phone. To manage social media use without stopping it altogether, make it less accessible, Dr. Roberts said. One tip he suggested is to delete it from your phone but keep it on your computer so you can still use it for work or to keep in touch with family and friends.

One thing the experts agreed on: to build a healthy relationship with technology, you need to control it, not the other way around. Think of your gadgets as tools that you decide how to use.

“Make it work for you, not against you,” says Ms. Martin, the productivity expert at Google. “Whether it’s an email program or your dishwasher, it’s the intention behind the way you use it that really makes the big difference.”

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