Tarek El Moussa reflects on the battle against alcoholism at the age of 19

Tarek El Moussa talks about his struggle with alcoholism as a young adult.

“I will never forget this day… or this child. I was 20 years old fishing for king salmon in Alaska,” the HGTV personality, 42, wrote via Instagram on Monday, December 4, next to a photo of his younger self. “Unfortunately, all I remember is the terrible hangover I had. I had drunk over 30 shots of vodka and whatever else I could get my hands on. I can still feel the throbbing in my head and the pulsating vein in my temple.”

El Moussa confessed that in his younger years he was “accustomed” to feeling those aches and pains as a result of his continued heavy drinking.

“Most people don’t know this about me, but at 19 my life went downhill, which felt like overnight. I gained 50 pounds, lost my self-confidence, lost my hope and became a raging alcoholic,” he continued. “All my drive was gone. It’s crazy to think that today sometimes I wake up at 3am to go to work, while at 8pm I wake up at 3pm to start my day.”

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While El Moussa didn’t share what exactly made him change his life, he noted that everyone deserves a “second chance.” He told his followers that if they found themselves in a similar situation that he ever faced, his upcoming book, Turn your life aroundcan be useful.

“If you’re looking for the help I desperately needed at that moment, check out my new book Flip Your Life,” he wrote. “I wrote it thinking of 20 year old Tarek and what could have helped him❤️.”

El Moussa noted that his book is available for pre-order and will be released in February 2024.

The reality star revealed earlier this year that he had been writing his story for almost a decade and that he had achieved his goal.

“I’ve been working on this book for seven years now and I can’t wait for you to read my personal journey on how I found success and how I got to where I am today,” he said via Instagram in September alongside a video slideshow of various moments in his life. “During that journey you will encounter many setbacks [the] road, including cancer, divorce, business problems, addiction and more. This book has been a long time coming, and I am so proud to share my personal story with you!”

El Moussa has faced a series of life changes and health issues over the years. He was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 2013. Shortly after his initial diagnosis, he learned he also had testicular cancer. After entering remission in 2019, El Moussa suffered a back injury that led him to develop a steroid addiction.

Related: Christina and Tarek’s ups and downs: police calls, fights and more

Talk about a roller coaster! Christina Hall (née Haack) and Tarek El Moussa’s ups and downs started long before they called it quits in 2016. The reality stars married in May 2009, four years before their HGTV series thrust them into the spotlight. Things took a turn when El Moussa was diagnosed with two cases […]

“After the cancers, I had that horrible accident on my back and I lost like 60 pounds, and I was on all these opiates. I wasn’t doing well,” El Moussa remembers Fox News digital in February. “This is what people don’t understand – you know, from 2013 to 2016 it was hell.”

In addition to the fight against addiction, El Moussa and ex-wife Christina Hall decided to divorce after seven years of marriage. The exes, who split in 2016, share two children: daughter Taylor, 12, and son Brayden, 7. After their divorce, Tarek moved on with his wife. Heather Rae El Moussa whom he married in October 2021. The couple welcomed their first son, Tristan, in January.

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please reach out Substance abuse and mental health administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).