My ex-partner thinks our nine-year-old daughter is too young to wear crop tops

A mother has clashed with her ex-partner after he said he thinks their nine-year-old daughter is too young to wear crop tops.

The anonymous woman went to the British forum Mumsnet to explain that she had bought her child some bright tops to wear under other clothes.

While the mother has not revealed her daughter’s age, she said she was in 4th grade, meaning she is probably 8 or 9 years old, and had recently had puberty classes.

However, she was criticized by her ex-partner for the decision, who said their daughter was far too young to wear the tops.

Other users disagreed with the mom about her comments about using crop tops to “normalize” her and prepare her to wear bras.

She wrote, “I recently bought crop tops for my daughter to wear under her clothes.

‘They’re brightly colored with wide straps and don’t look like a bra in the slightest, I think. She is coming to the end of Year 4 and has recently had lessons on puberty at school.

“I’ve heard through my daughter that her dad (we’re divorced) thinks she’s way too young and tops are unnecessary and inappropriate.

“He lets her wear them anyway, but he has reacted negatively about it.

“Today I talked to him about it to explain that I think this is just the right age for crop tops (if she wants to wear them – she doesn’t have to). He said it shouldn’t be until high school when she develops.

“In my opinion, that’s way too late because it’s about normalizing the idea of ​​growing up and preparing her to wear bras. As she develops, she needs bras, not just tops.”

The woman then compared the situation to a young boy wearing swimming trunks instead of briefs before asking if she was being unreasonable.

Users took to the thread to comment their advice, with one person writing, “I think it’s a little sad that you feel like the idea of ​​wearing a bra needs to be “normalized” beforehand and that you think they needs more than a crop top as she develops.

‘Perhaps for sport, but the idea that everyone has to wear a bra at a different time is not entirely correct.

“But if she asked to wear them and chooses to wear them, then it’s her decision and she has nothing to do with her father.”

Another wrote: ‘I was a little uncomfortable buying one for my 9-10 year old daughter as it seems to suggest there are breasts you need to cover, or you would just wear a cardigan.

“But all her friends got them, so I agreed.”

A third commented, “I think a girl should have crop tops if she wants to.

“But, unless a 9-year-old starts to develop (some have) the idea of ​​giving her crop tops to ‘normalize wearing a bra’ is crazy.”

A fourth said, ‘If she wants to, that’s fine. But I don’t think you should normalize wearing a bra, she just does it when she has to like everyone.

“If she has breast tissue, it’s different.

“But I wouldn’t suggest or think about it without taking charge of the child, as I don’t see the difference between a 9-year-old girl with no breast tissue and a 9-year-old boy.”

But others defended the woman and spoke about what they did with their own children in that situation.

One user said, “Yeah, he really thinks girls don’t develop for high school?”

“He needs a biology lesson. It’s up to your daughter what she wears. Crop tops are just short vests after all.’

Another wrote: ‘My daughter is 9, also coming to the end of year 4 and wears one every day.

“I can already see where she is developing.

‘She helps them choose etc. And understands that she grows up and changes – I don’t see you being unreasonable anywhere!’

A third wrote, “Crop tops are a perfectly reasonable underwear choice for a 9 year old!

“Why is her father sexualizing her underwear?”

A fourth commented, “I needed a real bra at age 10-11 and probably would have appreciated a crop-top phase before that.

“I think crop tops are totally acceptable at age 9, and not sexualizing at all.”