My husband keeps waking up our sleeping baby – I think he just enjoys watching me struggle

A new mom has revealed that her husband keeps waking up their sleeping baby after settling her for hours.

The woman went to the British platform Mumsnet to explain that she takes care of 90 percent of the parenting and that sometimes it takes more than an hour to settle the baby.

She wondered if her partner enjoys watching her struggle with the baby or if he’s just “idiot.”

Many rushed to the comments and some said they would even go as far as ending the relationship.

The message read: ‘Dear husband and I have a 5 month old baby who is not a good sleeper at all. I do ALL bedtimes (and 90 percent of general parenting, but that’s irrelevant I suppose).

“My complaint is that once again, when I’ve spent over an hour putting the baby to sleep, DH calls loudly upstairs to ask me something.

“This happens several times a week and it wakes the baby up. I am now trying to resettle the baby while DH enjoys his free time alone downstairs as he does every night.

“If I don’t call him back when the baby doesn’t wake up, he’ll scream up again!”

“He says he’s calling again in case I didn’t hear or something happened to me?!

“He won’t think of going up the stairs for five seconds to see if me and the baby are asleep, because that would probably be too easy.

“He only shrugs when I explain how I feel. I’ve even cried sometimes because I’m so exhausted and then I have a baby to settle in all over again.

The mother said it’s happened so many times that she’s starting to wonder if it’s meant to be.

She explained, “For context, this is the same man who, when the baby was three weeks old, went to his hobby and when he came home at midnight, slammed the front door and shouted ‘HELLO’ loudly.”

“When I didn’t pick up the first time because I had just woken up and was in shock, he screamed again and woke both me and the baby.

“It would have been very careless if I hadn’t texted him half an hour earlier to say I finally had the baby, that I was going to sleep myself before her next feed, and to please be quiet.” upon entering, to which he replied ‘okay, will do’.

‘I hadn’t slept that week because I had a nasty infection in my episiotomy and the baby was reacting horribly to the antibiotics that went through my breast milk, so we’d been back and to appointments etc to get me and baby better.

“I’ve told him how I feel and basically said everything I’ve written above, but it’s just not coming through.

“I don’t know if he’s just completely idiotic or doesn’t want me to have a rest and likes to see me struggle with the baby.

‘How do I deal with this?! Anything I could do to disturb his sleep would probably disturb the baby too, so I’d cut off my nose to tease my face.”

Many suggested that her husband exhibits “weird gaslighting behavior” and that he comes across as controlling.

One person wrote, “You texted him ahead of time to warn him to be quiet and yet he came in loud and slammed the door.

“He turns you on and that’s pretty sick. How can someone be so stupid when they’ve already been told and asked to be quiet? It must be intentional.”

Another said, “I was going to say stupid until you said you texted him to say you were going to sleep and he still came in and yelled HELLO up the stairs. Weird gaslighting behavior as a previous comment mentioned.

“I mean, any normal human being would just be considerate of even a sleeping stranger and of course try to be quiet let alone your own wife and child.

‘I’d give him the baby and tell him to go put the baby to bed, that means you can’t do it without being disturbed!! Either, or you need to be more direct with him, people need to be called out sometimes. Just ask him if he’s stupid? Or is he trying to mess with you.’

Another agreed: ‘F’ing hell that’s terrible!!! Vague and thoughtless perhaps, if he did it once… but continuing despite requests, explanations and tears is just deliberately stupid.

“He’s either incredibly stubborn, self-centered and happy not to care, refusing to change his behavior even an ounce to make things better, or… he actually enjoys turning the knife and to sew you. Either way, it’s unbearably bloody cruel.”

A fourth wrote: ‘I agree it’s offensive – this is coercive control, not even well hidden. I bet he doesn’t like being wrong or being told what to do.’

Others suggested she end the relationship sooner rather than later because of his behavior.

One person said, “Honestly, I would seriously consider ending a relationship over this, and I’m a very tolerant person.”

Another wrote, “I’m telling you now… He’s mean and mean. Don’t bother pointing out his behavior.

‘He knows exactly what he’s doing. Take your baby and get out as soon as possible!’

While another agreed and said, “I’m so mad at you.” If you are financially independent, leave him behind and receive child support. That can help pay for a responsible adult’s childcare.

“I can’t imagine a happy life with this person for you or your child. He’s sedated.’

Some women suggested that he calm the baby down as soon as he wakes the child up.

One person said, ‘Why doesn’t he put the baby down if he woke up the baby?

“If it were me, I’d just go down and force him. He wouldn’t wake the baby again, I’m sure. Also you should split the nights 50/50 – why are you doing it all??’

Another wrote, “I would tell him the next time he does something to wake the baby up once you put him to sleep you will hand the baby over to him to resettle.”

Someone else said, “Let him go to bed, and he can be responsible if the baby wakes up.” Bet he’ll stop yelling.’